


Our Favorite Host is a Girl

by BD_Z



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Crossdressing, Flirting, Multi, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 14:51:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10664940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BD_Z/pseuds/BD_Z
Summary: Haruhi was tired of being the one everyone pulled a prank on. This time it's her turn. With the help of her guests, Renge and the entire student body, Haruhi will play the prank of a lifetime. Haruhi/Hosts Friendship and Flirting. (originally posted on FFnet)





	1. They Started It...

**Author's Note:**

> Rating: T for flirting and some language  
> Pairings: Well..... all of them in a way. It's fluster central in this story.

In a small apartment in the middle of Japan, the front door slammed harshly as one Haruhi Fujioka stormed in. No one was home so it didn't matter that no one called out a 'welcome home'. Not that it would have made a difference one way or the other, because Haruhi was in no mood for niceties. 

From the light blue blazer that was required at Ouran Academy as part of the male uniform to the slacks and polished shoes, there was a thick coating of frosting and paint dripping with every step.

The day had started out rather normal. That is, if you could call any day at the stupid rich kid school normal. Haruhi really didn't care much for the frivolous lifestyle of the students at the academy, mostly due to the fact that Haruhi wasn't a rich kid.

Once the bathroom door slammed, the jacket was the first thing to hit the floor. Soon the faucet of the bath turned on and began filling the small tub. All the while grumbling could be heard from the stripping sixteen year old.

“Ugh, I hate them all. Stupid bastards. Why the hell do they insist on these practical jokes. I swear I'm going to kill them!” 

These shouts could easily be heard by the neighbors but at this moment Haruhi didn't care. Stripped and finally free of the confining male uniform, the hidden female form stepped into the warm bath.

Yes, despite the boyish hair cut and figure hiding male clothing, Haruhi was indeed a girl. Though the entire school, with the exception of the host club and a solitary male friend, believed otherwise.

The club was adamant about maintaining that falsity. They would prefer that no one knew the truth. Those selfish bastards. They would rather Haruhi be their “secret princesses” as Tamaki so affectionately called her.

Haruhi scrubbed the effects of the last prank from her skin. Leaving her skin pink from scouring the paint right off. She worked her hair into a lather soon after as chunks of cake were set free. 

She didn't even want to recall what had transpired only a little while ago. She would prefer to forget all about it but the images wouldn't go. 

If it wasn't for Kyoya insisting that Haruhi join the stupid Host King for a lesson in flirting with tea. Hikaru and Kaoru wouldn't have devised a plan to distract them. They wouldn't have have set the fire crackers off under their chaise.

The girls beside them wouldn't have jumped up screaming and knocking over their set up. Which spurred Mori into action to protect Honey from flying cups. Effectively knocking over a table with a huge chocolate cake covered in buttercream frosting that was sent flying over the room to land on her. 

Already disgusted with that thought she tried to escape with part of her dignity intact as the twins howled with laughter. Of course Tamaki didn't see it as funny as he tried to chase her down and out of the third music room where their activities were held. 

He had grabbed her arm to get her attention but only ended up causing her to slip from his grasp and into a ladder. 

The poor custodian was in utter shock to discover his can of paint had dumped all over her.

Needless to say, Haruhi was livid.

She walked all the way home like that. Covered in mess, with the horrible thoughts running through her head. If only she were creative enough or deceitful enough for payback. 

If only, but that was one thing about Haruhi that just didn't work. She couldn't do it. She would rather seethe in anger and frustration. 

Insanity. That was the only way to describe it. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

Yet that was exactly what was going to happen. She groaned out and finished her bath. Those clothes were just going to have to be washed. No way around it. She needed that uniform for school the next day.

 

Another day. Another fanciful day of swooning, relentless teasing and lies was about to begin. Haruhi was not too thrilled to be returning to school after yesterdays disaster. Her uniform miraculously came clean but it took most of the night to get the paint out of the embroidered patch on her jacket. 

Sighing, she entered her class room and slid into her desk. Thankful for the momentary silence since two of her torturous club/class mates were not yet in their respective seats. She was still furious with them. 

Haruhi did not expect the first person to talk with her that day to be a female classmate. She saw the yellow out of the right corner of her eye. The student cleared her throat to gain the secret females attention. “Um excuse me Haruhi.” A pretty girl with long brown hair and short bangs stood beside her. Her hands were clutching a letter.

“Hi, Miss Kurakano.” Haruhi smiled at her and tilted her head curiously at the girl. “Did you need something?”

“Um..” she began a little shy. “I wanted to invite you over for my party this weekend. It's only for a few close friends and since.. well.. since I spend so much time with you at the Host Club,” She blushed slightly. “I wanted to see if you were free to join us.”

“You want me to come to your party?” She questioned. “Wouldn't you want Tamaki or maybe the twins to come instead? I don't really know much about parties.”

It seemed like a reasonable question since it was true that Haruhi was not used to attending parties unless she was forced into it. Besides she had planned to do some housework, home work and even get some reading done from her personal, non academic, reading list done.

“Well you see.” Kurakano began. “Yesterday was... how should I say this..”

Understanding hit Haruhi, “A disaster. I get it. You don't want them to get rowdy.”

“Yes! That's exactly it.” She nodded furiously. “Would you like to come?”

There was a momentary pause while she quickly weighted the pros and cons of the subject. Then as she noticed the twins rounding the corner and entering the class room she looked back to her classmate and nodded. “Sure. I'd like that.”

Kurakano had notice Haruhi looking at the door and then back. She gave a relieved smile and handed Haruhi the envelope quickly muttering a thanks before heading back to her assigned seat. It was obvious that she didn't want to twins to know.

Haruhi placed the envelope in her notebook and gave her good morning a mental kiss goodbye. 

“Hey Ha-Ru-Hi” Hikaru drawled out. “You are looking clean today.” 

Kaoru sat down next to her in his own seat. “Seriously, I was expecting to see you back in that grubby old sweater. How did you get all that paint off?”

“I'm not even going to try to explain. It's paint, it came off. End of story. Now lets just focus on our class work.” Seriously irritated Haruhi zoned her attention on the lessons for the day. Trying her best to ignore the so called best friends at either side of her.

Until they started passing notes behind her. She noticed and tried to stare straight ahead. Still it continued.

Little by little they were unnerving her as the notes were not just past back and forth behind her chair with their long arms but were getting closer and closer to her until they were deliberately brushing their hands across her back, up her neck and even attempting to brush the papers through her hair.

She growled. “Knock it off” She snapped only to have the instructor look at them. 

“Excuse me? Mr. Fujioka, is there something you wanted to say on this matter?” The male teacher asked. He halted in his reading of the historical significance of the Sino-Japanese War. 

“Nothing, sir.” She recounted. “I apologize for my outburst.”

The teacher took notice of the smirks on the twins faces and the embarrassment of the interruptive student. Luckily since having the three of them in this course, he understood that the outburst was probably due to the two problem children. He let it pass. Not bothering to embarrass the student any further.

“Very well. Lets continue, Hitachiin Hikaru, will you begin the next paragraph. I assume you were paying attention.” He called out one of the boys as an attempt at being a responsible teacher. Unlucky for him, Hikaru was paying attention and began reading along.

Haruhi was still embarrassed but kept her frustration under wraps. The day was not over yet and there was still a club meeting after classes were over. Thank god the weekend would be here soon.

 

Lunch time came sooner than expected for Haruhi and yet she was glad the day was nearly finished. As usual the girl took her lunch in her class room. She had her bento box in her bag and unwrapped it. The best part of lunch time was that it was quiet. No one bothered her, not even the twins who preferred to eat in the cafeteria. Most of the time, that is.

She took the opportunity to open up the envelope that her classmate gave her earlier. Like Kurakano had said, it was a small event. The address was listed along with time and dress. Good thing she said it was casual. She would just wear some jeans and maybe one of her plain t-shirts. Mostly likely she would have to fight with her dad to let her stick with boyish clothing.

The party was also listed for Saturday afternoon. At least she would have Sunday to finish up her work. It would also give her a day to breath before having to deal with her Host Club friends. That is if they didn't harass her that day.

She put the card back into the envelope, placed it into her bag and began her lunch routine. 

 

The sounds of giggling girls, raucous laughter and music emanated in the 3rd Music Room which held the activities of the Ouran Host Club. 

Among the group one 'natural' host was entertaining a group of four young women. Haruhi, despite the teasing she was receiving about the prior days drama, was enjoying the company that Kurakano and her friend Sakurazuka had brought with them. The two new girls were just as nice as her regular guests.

Their conversations today was simple enough, favorite teen novels. Haruhi was used to reading books beyond their grade level but she still had a few guilty pleasures and enjoyed sharing her interest with the guests at her table.

“I just loved that series.” One girl with thick black hair was saying. “The magic the mystery, oh and I love how they took the dragons and made them so much more intelligent than they are in other fantasy series. Although I will say I much prefer the Inheritance books to the first film they attempted.”

“Oh but that was a cute movie” The other, who had her curly brown hair tied back into a loose pony tail, was looking down a bit dejected.

Haruhi spoke up, “It's hard to make a movie based off of a series of books. They never know what information is important if the series itself is not finished. That is why it's best if the writer helps out with scripting. Take a look at the difference between the Harry Potter films versus the.. oh I don’t know... Princess Diaries movie.”

A shocked gasp emanated from the girls at her table. “You read the Princess Diaries?” Sakurazuka asked. “But Haruhi, won't your father say something about you reading something like that?”

“He doesn't care. In fact, he was the one who gave them to me.” Haruhi realized that was probably a bad idea to admit to the guest that she indeed did read the novels. Even if she didn't believe that gender should have restrictions, the rest of her classmates didn't always agree.

The girls at her table however, were impressed. “That's so cute!” and other variations were muttered around her table.

The group continued down the road of 'forbidden' books for a short while, maintaining a calm that was not usual for the Host Club. Which of course means that it was about to come to an end.

“Haruhi!” The blond Host Club king meandered over to her table. Tamaki Suoh, the ever charming pain in Haruhi's neck, and biggest drama queen to ever grace the planet placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Yes, Senpai?” She asked withholding a groan of agitation. The girls at her table were looking at the King with curiosity and slight desire.

“It has come to my attention that tomorrow, the Host Club will be doing a photo shoot for the next set of collectable picture books. All in Cosplay!” He began to dance around Haruhi and hugged her from behind. Her chair began to wobble as he pulled her backwards in to his arms. “Oooo please please please, let daddy dress you up in a beautiful dress. I wanna see you in frills and lace. It would be so perfect if you were to do a photo like that. Please, just for me?” He snuggled into her neck.

“Senpai! Knock it off...” she squirmed, trying to get out of his grasp. Her face blushing madly. The ladies at the table were also blushing with their eyes wide and giggles escaping their lips.

“Oh Haruhi, You will be so beautiful!” He hugged her even tighter.

“Go choke on a lemon,” Haruhi snapped. Tamaki let go as if stung by her words and the twins, who were withing earshot, began cracking up. Oh so they are the culprits... again.

The prince began to sulk away. “Haruhi, you hurt daddy's feelings.”

“You'll get over it.” She stood up and bowed to her guests. “Would you excuse me a minute, Ladies?” They in return blushed and nodded fervently.

Over in their strategically placed for eavesdropping sofa, the twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, leaned against one another in a confident, seductive pose when they saw their “toy” come over to them. 

“Why did you lie to him?” Haruhi said in a hushed but frustrated voice.

“Whatever do you mean?” They replied in unison.

“He obviously believes that I will be dressing up as a girl for tomorrow. I don’t' mind seeing as I am a girl but still, sicking Tamaki on me is embarrassing. And I don't do 'frills and lace'.” Haruhi looked around to make sure no one over heard. “Do you want me to be found out? How will I pay off my debt then? How do you think I will be able to be a part of the club after the proverbial cat is out of the bag?”

“Doesn't matter to us.” Hikaru stated.

“We get you in class everyday anyway.” came Kaoru's remark.

“The only one who would be upset about that...”

“Would be our king.”

Haruhi looked down and shook her head. “You two are impossible.” She walked away and the Twins shared a smirk with each other. Everyday, it was the same thing. Twins tease Tamaki, Tamaki flips his lid. Haruhi is so how involved. It was beyond annoying. 

Making her way back to her table she shrugged and shook her head with a sigh. “I'm sorry about that. It seems that a certain pair of twins think that making me dress up like a girl would be the greatest joke on our club president.”

“I think it would be a lovely idea,” Kurakano said in a soft meek voice. “Haruhi you would make such a pretty girl. Have you ever cross dressed before?”

Haruhi put a finger to her lips to think. What should I tell them? I could just confess that sure, I do it all the time since I am a girl.. but I can't do that. Oh right, I have seen the rest of the club cross dress, not to mention my dad. Maybe it won't be too far a stretch to admit that much. That way I won't be revealing this lame secret.

“Well, sure. Between the club cosplay's and with my father working as a cross dresser, I can pass for either boy or girl.” She smiled to herself. Proud that she was able to give a confession without a revelation. 

The short haired Sakurazuka nearly swooned with a sigh. “I would love to see that.”

“I didn't know your father was a cross dresser.” Kurakano piped up suddenly curious.

“Yes, he is. It can be a bit embarrassing when he trills and puts on the overprotective mother figure act. Especially since he acts just like Tamaki Senpai.”

The girls eyes grew wide. Their Host prince was just like Haruhi's father? That explains why their relationship is so weird.

“Is that why he calls you his daughter?” They all said nearly simultaneously.

That brought a smile to their hosts face. “Oh that? No he is just weird. Remember he calls Kyoya senpai 'Mother' and refers to the rest of us as other members of a family. It's not just me. Then again, I am the only one he calls 'daughter'.”

Kurakano sighed and lovingly looked to Haruhi, “Oh please, let us see you that way. If not here then maybe at the..” she dropped to a whisper. “the party.”

Changing the subject quickly Haruhi picked up the pot of tea. “Let me refill the tea pot and we can discuss this when I return, OK?” She gave the girls a heartwarming smile causing the four ladies to swoon.

She walked away from the table all the while thinking about what the girls had said. It's true she wasn't one for tricks, or even to be underhanded in anyway but after the week she had she was tempted to do just that. The girls had unwittingly given her the perfect prank. 

They are always playing jokes on me, why not return the favor? It would serve them right if the school did know I was a girl. Then again, I wouldn't be able to host if they really knew. Maybe, if as a boy, I told them to pretend they knew the 'truth'. It would be hard. A day, a week... or.. nah, never mind. It would just be too much trouble. She rationalized the idea and it's pros and cons while she refilled the pot with hot water and a new filter of tea leaves.

On her way back she had decided against her plan. Instead she figured, why trick them? Even if they did cover her in cake and paint the previous day, Humiliated her on a daily basis and toyed with her emotions and, of course, lets face it... hormones. It was just too much of a bother to deal with keeping up a charade. 

Before reaching her table she found herself face to face with the twins. The mirrored smirks proved that trouble was brewing in those devilish minds of theirs.

“Haruhi, we're bored.” Hikaru began.

“Play with us.” Kaoru finished.

“No, I have guests and so do you.” She side stepped them, attempting to complete her trip back to her table.

“Awww” They whined and hurriedly blocked her path again “We wanna play with our toy.”

Hikaru stepped beside her and brushed a finger under her chin. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. “Be our toy for a while.”

Kaoru followed suit and came to her opposite side. He wrapped his arms around her, bracing her to himself as he nuzzled into her neck, bringing a burning blush up to her cheeks. “Please Haruhi,” He purred. “We are really really bored.”

Her skin shivered and the blush intensified, causing the ladies who observed the scene to squeal in delight. 

“No.” She pushed the boys away completely embarrassed by the attention she received. Tamaki on the other side of the room was pitching a fit, only to be held at bay by Kyoya who held him by the fabric of his collar.

Hurriedly she made her way back to the table, flustered beyond belief when the boys came up beside her again. Effectively trapping her in a sandwich hug. She jumped, when she felt the breath of both boys on her ears as they whispered. “Come play with us.”

The crowed surrounding them grew, including the guests of the other hosts. The twittering from the gaggle of girls became overwhelming and just as she was about to break free, she felt both boys nip the flesh of her ears with a kiss.

At that moment several motions were made at once. First Haruhi felt her body loose control of it's neutral hormonal state, her face burned and breathing failed. The teapot fell from her hands and the trio were knocked hard to the ground. Tamaki had escaped his captor and was responsible for knocking the others to the ground.

Tea and porcelain scattered the floor and the four tangled bodies moaned in pain and detached themselves from one another.

The moe hit the fan as the girls who had witnessed the event fanned themselves. Trying in vain to calm their own blushes. All the while crying about how 'hot' that scene had become before Tamaki jumped in. 

Others were crying that, Tamaki's entrance made it even more dramatic as he was protecting the 'man he loved'.

“Get off of me!” Haruhi shouted. The twins had rolled away from her but Tamaki was once again, just like back at her home, on top of her. 

The shouts of joy were defining and Tamaki was frozen on the spot as he gazed down on the girl below him. His face rose 20 shade of scarlet before scampering off of her.. or rather scampering and being pushed off by Haruhi herself.

Once again, her uniform was a mess. This time soaked with tea. Still she glared at the boys and huffed away back to her guests. 

Kurakano, Sakurazuka and their friends were no longer at the table but standing near the mob of fan-girling guests. They too looked frazzled by the whole ordeal, only for them, it wasn't a bad thing.

Taking off her wet jacket and undoing her tie, she tried to remove as much of the wet fabric without giving away her concealed gender she kept her voice low. “Alright, I've had it. It's time I pay them back with a prank of my own. Starting tomorrow, I am a girl.”

The four girls clapped their hands and animatedly began planning in secret as together they left the room. Haruhi watched them go, then turned back to the disaster on the floor.

She sighed, no doubt that tea pop was going to be added to her ever growing debt. Not to mention she was going to have to wash the uniform yet again. It will be a miracle if the outfit survived the year.


	2. The Planning Stage

Parties for Haruhi were always simple. Some cake, some games and of course family and friends. She never knew what to expect from a party with the students at Ouran Academy. 

Luckily Kurakano said this party was going to be a small affair and it didn't matter what Haruhi wore. After yesterday, she preferred to just wear something comfortable and she did. A pair of jeans with a t-shirt. Underneath she had on a sports bra and over was a sweater. Secretly she hoped it would be enough for this particular classmate.

“Haruhi!” The pretty girl known as Kurakano called out. She waved at her from across the yard. Haruhi hadn't even made it to the front door yet and her friend was waiting to greet her. “I am so glad you came. I had a great idea for your prank!”

Oh great, She though, I almost forgot about that. After a good nights sleep she had gotten over her initial irritation. It bubbled back up once she remembered the crazy week that had transpired. Her resolve returned soon after. 

The girl had grabbed Haruhi's hand and tugged her into the house. The house was just as fancy and expensive as her friends homes but this one was more charming than gaudy. It resembled a cottage from the outside and the interior was filled with beautiful hand crafted furniture. Mostly wooden with floral patterns. 

Kurakano slowed down when she reached the sitting room where her closest friends were currently sitting around. From the looks of it, Haruhi was the only “boy” invited to this little get together. In total there were six girls. Sakurazuka, another of her regular guests by the name of Ruri Karasuma, the two girls from yesterday, and Renge Houshakuji. 

Renge, jumped up and squealed when she saw Haruhi enter the room. “Oh Haruhi, you are here. I am so glad you made it. Yesterday was so amazing. I nearly fainted when the twins and Tamaki fell all over you. It was the most wonderful, spectacular, sensational display of boy on boy love I have ever seen. I could have just died!”

Clearly surprised by Renge's outburst the Haruhi and the others took a step away from the over excited girl. As the official Host Club “manager”, declared such by the girl herself, she attended every meeting even for a brief moment. She used the club as her own personal inspiration for her short stories and self published manga. 

“You guys were serious when you said it was a small party.” Haruhi fidgeted. 

“Oh yes,” Kurakano agreed. “I wanted a girls day, but since you are our favorite host we thought it would be nice to treat you for once. As a friend.” The girl blushed furiously.

“That was really nice of you” Haruhi smiled. Then remembered the outburst of Renge moment ago, which brought her mind back to yesterdays events and the possibility of a prank. “Um, I want to apologize about yesterdays club meeting. I was sort of rude after the guys got me all covered in tea.”

“No, don't worry about it. I am excited actually” the long haired girl had cried out. She was one of the new girls from the day before and Haruhi wasn't sure she remembered her name. Nor did she know the others name very well either. Neither of them were in her class. She only knew them because of Kurakano and Sakurazuka.

Haruhi made a point to ask them but she didn't get a chance before Renge stole the conversation again. 

“Oh that's right. The girls were saying you were planning a prank on the rest of the guys. I am dying to hear about it.” She gushed grabbing Haruhi's wrist and tugging her back to the sofa's.

The others made room and straightened their hair and the fabric of their dresses out of habit. A couple of them had let out some giggles when Haruhi was unceremoniously seated down by the female class mate. 

“Right” she said carefully. “Listen, you guys. I was over reacting yesterday. They made me so mad this last week that I just wanted to turn everything right around on them. The prank would take too much time.” Not to mention, it's risky. What if they figured out the truth before I could go back to normal? What if the guys blow it themselves by doing something equally stupid?

“Oh come one.” Sakurazuka encouraged. “It was a brilliant idea. And it was Tamaki's idea in the first place. Please tell us what you were planning, besides the whole dressing up part.”

“Dressing up part?” Renge blinked. “I have to know now. Spill it, Haruhi.”

Sighing in defeat, she knew she had brought this one on herself. The boys had been so rude, and stupid and inconsiderate. They messed with her physically, emotionally and mentally with their flirting and pranks. Their constant bothersome behavior had interfered with her homework, her home life and even her school activities. They were everywhere. They increased her debt, toyed with her things and hell even stole/auctioned off her property.

The more she thought about it the more emboldened she became. The more her mind decided, yes, enough was enough. 

“The boys like to call me a girl. They are going to get a girl. As of this week, I will be that girl.” She stated. “I will wear the girls uniform and attend classes just like that”

“Oh but you must flirt. You have to flirt!” The previously quiet Ruri cried out.

“And you must call us by our first names.” Kurakano blushed.

Which reminded Haruhi, “Oh that's right, I never got your names.” She looked at the two other girls. 

The two giggled. Being unknowns at the host club, Haruhi would not have known or really cared. She just wanted to get through her studies. She remembered Kurakano's name as Momoka and Sakurazuka was Kimiko. The others went by Chizu (the curly brown haired girl) and Natsu ( the raven black haired girl), apparently sisters. Go figure, they didn't look alike. Haruhi tucked those names in her memory for next host meeting.

“So who has Haruhi's size in uniform.” Renge asked. She eyed Haruhi's figure before reaching forward to tug the sweater off. Which enlisted a loud “HEY” from Haruhi who tried to bat the girls hands away.

“Don't be shy Haruhi.” She teased.

“What about Kurakano... I mean Momoka's family. You can't just undress me in public.” She protested.

A collective round of disappointed sounds rounded. “Besides. I'm a girl now. Remember.” She reasoned once she was out of reach.

Kimiko spoke up. “Why would this prank work. I mean the Host club would never believe you were a girl.”

Haruhi rolled her eyes. These boys believed that she was male for a while before they caught on and still to this day the majority of the school was still following that belief. This question Haruhi had thought of thoroughly over the night.

“They are not going to want to admit to being wrong.” She stated “They will all believe it's true since they have never seen me dress..” Okay, that stretches the truth. She thought to herself before continuing.

“They also will want to pretend they knew all along so that they don't look like fools.” And that was an outright lie. Even though they are fools.

“You really thought this through didn't you?” The girl called Chizu asked.

Haruhi shrugged. “I'm not really good at the flirting part. I guess... I'm just going to have to copy what they did to me.”

Collectively the five girls held their breaths and blushed madly as they imagined Haruhi whispering in their ears, pressing 'his' body up against the other hosts, and even... kissing them. It was at that point that Haruhi knew she was in way over her head.

 

Haruhi made a list. 

That's what she needed a list of things to do to her Host Club members. She listed them based on who the biggest offenders were, and who deserved to be flustered over embarrassed. As it ended up being, the list was primarily targeting Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru. Of course she did have a few choice things to say/do to Kyoya as well.

Honey and Mori were not so bad but since this prank had to be pulled on the group collectively they unfortunately had to be part of it.

Renge had taken it upon herself to call each and every one she could think of to help make this prank work. The word was out “Pretend Fujioka was a girl.” This meant that the girls were to treat her as such and any boy brave enough to flirt with the Host Club Natural were encouraged to do so.

They were also instructed to give Haruhi advice when needed since she so obviously didn't know how to flirt properly. 

The more the planning went the more comfortable Haruhi became with the idea. As an added bonus, the more she finally found the idea to be.... fun. 

She shook her head. I never thought pranks could be fun.All the planning was making this endeavor seem like a project rather than an attempt at revenge. She was getting to try something on her own for once. It was exciting. Even scary but she was determined. 

The list of offenses helped her keep her resolve to go through with the prank.

Tamaki was getting a rebounded dose of his romantic nature. That was number one. The twins, same but with the added attempts to bring out their jealousy. Mild flirting would be equally distributed to the others as needed. But above all, the prank was to irritate them to believe that Haruhi outed herself.

That was the best part of this. She would finally show them what things would be like if they didn't stop acting like idiots. If they would just leave her be for a while and let her relax around them instead of being on high alert. 

A part of her was feeling a bit apprehensive but she knew deep down, this had to be done.. no matter how out of character she knew this was.

“Haruhiiiii” Ryoji Fujioka, also known professionally as Ranka, called from the living room. “There is a package for you.”

Jumping up from her desk in her room she hurriedly made her way to the living room of their small apartment. “Thanks Dad.” She said as she opened up the dress box and pulled out the female uniform for her school.

“Oh my goodness. Haruhi darling, are you finally going to dress up for school? What about the boys? Do they know?” He eyed his tomboyish daughter curiously.

“No.” She said simply. “Don't tell them anything. It's a surprise.”

Her father would not understand that this was meant to be a joke. He would want her to wear this stuff everyday and would probably get upset with her for treating female clothing as a joke. It was after all his profession. 

Ranka patted his daughter on the head and let her to her business. This time, he would let it go. Mostly because he was late for work and his hair was not even close to done. Gone were the days he used a wig to work now that his hair was luscious and long enough to style.

He glance back at Haruhi and wistfully thought how cute she would be if only her hair would grow back.

 

Her nerves were getting to her. Haruhi tossed and turned in bed, worried about the next day. Both excited and apprehensive she didn't know what she was supposed to feel. By now the entire school with the exception of six boys would be involved in the biggest joke Ouran has ever encountered. 

It seems amazing that the school would get behind such a childish thing but according to the phone call she received not to long ago from Renge, even the teachers were in on it. How that happened Haruhi will never know. 

But now that everyone was involved she couldn't very well chicken out now. Nerves be damned. It was going to happen.

The uniform was hanging across the room from her and she eyed it, considering what things would have been like if the Host Club had never given her the blue blazer in the first place.

Not that it mattered after tomorrow, nothing will be the same for Haruhi Fujioka.


	3. Monday: Day 1 - Female Fujioka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's just another manic Monday" - The Bangels

The student known as Haruhi Fujioka held her books in her hands. No book back, no blue blazer jacket and black slack, and no resemblance to the “boy” everyone knew.

Her black Mary Jane shoes were click, click, clicking on the tile floor as she traveled down the hall. Few students openly stared at her. Most just pretended not to notice. A few admittedly were thrown off their game to see just how pretty Fujioka was as a girl.

As of yet, non of the Host Club boys noticed the girl. None of them even had a chance to since Haruhi decided to come later than usual. She slowly opened her classroom door and strode inside. 

A few gasps were let loose by a couple girls who did not expect the change and several boys jaws nearly broke the tile floor when they dropped. Still no one said a thing, they waited and watched knowing that the twin demons were about to have the shock of their lives.

From Haruhi's vantage point she could tell the twins had yet to notice her. They were obviously in the midst of planning a prank as their smirks and whispers were currently indicating. They didn't even see her as she strode up behind them as the were only on the look out for the male uniformed classmate of theirs. It goes without saying her voice made them jump out of their skins

“What are you two up to?” She asked trying to keep the humor out of her voice.

Their heads nearly snapped to look at her and sputtering out her name their own jaws dropped two levels. “Ha..Haruhi!” 

The Hitachiin twins were finally at a loss for words. Dumbstruck by her appearance as they looked her over. From the barrettes in her hair, down to the cleanly polished healed shoes coupled with white stockings.

In complete control of her voice she innocently asked. “Is something wrong?”

They broke, “You.. you.. you..” Hikaru repeated.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Kaoru cried out.

She shrugged, boy was this going to be an interesting Monday. “Well, you did say you wanted me to wear a dress.” She gestured down to the outfit. “I figured it was time to come out. You were right, after all I will find another way to pay off my debt.”

She placed a finger on her lip-glossed lips. Oh yes, she used lipgloss. “I guess I could always run errands again.”

“NO!” They both shouted. “Haruhi, Why?”

All around them, the classmates, from Renge down to Soga were all holding back their laughter at the discomfort of the two boys who caused so much drama since the early years of kindergarden. 

“We were just kidding around,” Kaoru was panicking on the verge of hyperventilation. He was starting to feel like the two of them finally screwed something up.

Hikaru, also freaking out cried out “We didn't mean it!”

Haruhi was feeling a bit smug at their reactions but held her features firm in her usual poker face, “It's to late now, I guess. I was just talking to some of the girls this morning and I'm pretty sure the whole school knows by now. You should really think things through before you joke around.”

Momoka Kurakano took that moment as her cue. “Excuse me, Haruhi,” She began trying not to be amused by the horrified looks the Hitachiin brothers were expressing. “I am so happy to hear the news, I almost couldn't believe it. Maybe we can go out after the Host Club ends tonight. I would so love to take you out for a full make-over!”

If the boys didn't look horrified before, they did now. Hikaru was shaking his head back and forth while Kaoru was struggling to remember how to breath. They mentally willed Haruhi back into her boys uniform. To forget this was even happening. How on earth were they going to explain this to the rest of the club members.

Haruhi glanced at them for a moment remembering how much they love to give her these makeovers in private. She grinned at Kurakano. “Sure thing, Momoka, I would love that.”

Kaoru choked on his breath nearly hyperventilating. Hikaru was still too stunned to say or do anything. Noticing this, Haruhi's confidence was boosted and she boldly decided now was a perfect opportunity to practice her flirting.

She faced the boys full on and in an act of complete poise and possession she reached out and brushed the back of her hand across Hikaru's face and used the other hand to pull on Kaoru's tie bringing them both within whispering range.

That motion alone was enough to throw them, but her words nearly killed them. “At least now it won't look so bad if we get close like this.” She whispered.

Abruptly they both pulled away, red faced and sputtering out audible but unintelligible protests. The girls in the class nearly lost it as they all covered their mouths turning away from the scene before them. A few of the boys buried their faces in their crossed arms at their desks. 

Haruhi grinned widely and tried her best not to break her newfound character. She may be terrible at acting but right now, bad actress or not, the twins were losing their shit.

Not a moment too soon, their instructor entered the room. He took one glance at Haruhi's new look and left it at that. The student at this school had way to much time on their hands.

 

Renge had informed Haruhi that no one in the school was allowed to gossip on the first day until each Host Club member discovered the 'truth' in their own due time. She didn't want the school to break the secret until she herself knew it was going to happen. 

As the first round of class' ended, Class 1-A exited the room and headed towards the Home Economics room. The hall was full of inquisitive looks and smirks from fellow students. All of which fell into complete obscurity to the two Host Club members that shared the course with Haruhi.

They were unable to think straight and nearly fumbled through out their lessons. In fact, screw fumble, they paid zero attention as they were more concerned about how the other club members were going to take the news.

Their eyes refused to leave their friend. Worry etched in to Kaoru's face, while Hikaru looked ready to punch out the next boy who even glanced her way. Periodically Haruhi would look their way and smile at them. Effectively causing a blush of embarrassment at being caught gawking at her.

On their walk she decided to try something else and before her determination wavered slowed her pace to let the twins catch up to her. She let herself stand in between them. Without her books, which she left on her desk in their main class room, she felt her hands twitch with her nerves. 

She shoved them down along with any doubts as she reached for the boys hands. 

That simple gesture was tame and mild compared to the amount of touching they tortured her with but their reaction proved that Haruhi's initiation was far too intimate. They stiffened, stopped in their tracks and stared down at the girl between them.

“What?” she asked feigning naivete. 

They said nothing. They did nothing and not to feel like she took it a step too far she walked towards their next class tugging them along with her. 

Unwilling and numb, they pulled their eyes away from her so they could stare at each other. She pulled them along with determination and they followed, their minds screaming that this was just not right.

Right around the corner from them they could see a tuff of blond hair. Tamaki may not have been paying attention to the passing class of students nor did he seem to be focused on anything more than flirting with a girl in his class who had long hair and glasses. She ignored him, while continuing to follow the rest of their particular class to their own next course. 

Oblivious as they were, Kyoya on the other hand had noticed the twins after shaking his head at his best friends antics. His eyes locked on them, and down to the figure who was tugging them along down the hall. 

Frowning Kyoya didn't get the opportunity to seek out Haruhi, before he was physically assaulted in a hug by an overwhelmed Tamaki. 

Once safely ensconced in their home economics room, Haruhi let the boys go and attended to her work area along side her partner, Renge.

A smirk on Renge's face proved to Haruhi that she witnessed the hand holding event. Her voice dropped low so that only Haruhi could hear her, “Everything is going as planned. Kyoya saw but he didn't really get a good view. Luckily he won't be blowing our plan just yet. I sent a text message to Ayame Jounouchi, you know the girl in 2-A with Kyoya and Tamaki? She is going to be with us at lunch when we drop the bomb on them. As for Mori Senpai and Honey Senpai, Reiko Kanazuki is going to be handling them.”

They had agreed to making the lunch break the best time for the big reveal. They already knew the twins were going to be too flabbergasted and terrified to break the news themselves. At least that much was going as planned.

Haruhi looked behind her to see the twins at their own workspace. Neither were working on their project, which was according to the white board in front of the room was peanut butter cookies. They instead were in deep discussion, with furtive glances towards their former “secret princess”. She tossed them another smile. 

Inside she felt just a little sorry for playing this joke. She wondered how on earth she was going to make this last for a week.

Her hands deftly worked on making the batter after Renge finished tying the apron around Haruhi's waist. They were able to get through the first batch alright since she showed her friend how to use the oven. The second batch was all Renge, and it was all burnt.

Taking her first batch with her, Haruhi decided now was the time to play their own trick against them. She faced them from the opposite side of their counter and they looked up owlishly. They were so deeply troubled that even in this class, neither had caused their usual ruckus. 

“Here, you guys can have these.” She grinned. “Only this time, instead of licking them off my face you can have the whole basket.”

Kaoru burned red at the memory. He burned even deeper red when he locked eyes with his friend as she said, “Of course, I could always repay the favor and do it to you.”

Surprised by her own comment, Haruhi quickly turned away before her face betrayed her. She headed back to Renge to let the boys stew in that last attempt at flirting.

 

Ayame received the message from Renge just before class began and she did her best to maintain the concentration her position as smartest of the female students required. She couldn't wait for this next even to unfold. Tamaki and Kyoya would be so dumbstruck by the school wide prank that their own grades may not be up to par for this weeks exam. For once she will be able to beat them both and to her, this prank was worth it.

The bell tolled the sound for noon break and she graciously turned her attention to Tamaki. “Will you be joining us in the cafeteria today?” She was referring to her and Kyoya having a previously agreed upon study session over the lunch hour.

Since this request was completely uncharacteristic of Ayame, Tamaki was momentarily stunned. She had rejected his attentions long before their class began and here she was offering her attention to him. He beamed at her, took her hand and kissed it in a flourish. Tamaki took what she asked at face value, not realizing that anything more than this girl, who was obviously interested in him, had asked him to lunch.

Ayame tried her best to hide her blush from Tamaki's actions by continuously reminding herself that her part in this was to bring them to the cafeteria. Nothing more. And definitely not to encourage Tamaki's ego-centric behavior. 

 

Reiko Kanazuki, was not at all in the same class or even the same year as the most senior club members. In fact she was, along with Haruhi and the twins, a first year high school student. Class 1-D.

Her relationship with the boys was nothing more than mere acquaintance and a desperate need to curse the heart out of one Haninozuka boy. 

Along side her was a boy with a fierce face and burning red hair. The two were just leaving their class together and headed to find their targets.

The boy, known as Ritsu Kasanoda, was given the mission to seek out his mentor Morinozuka while his female classmate was sent to search out Haninozuka. 

Between the both of them, they were sure to find the oldest members of the club. Then soon after, find a reason to bring them to the main cafe used as a cafeteria.

They nodded to each other respectfully and heading in opposite directions. Both knowing full well what they were to do.

 

True to the plan, Haruhi had forgone her typical bento box lunch and her solitary confinement at the schools second most popular daily social event.

Along the way to lunch she was followed by a confused pair of twins. They both realized where she was going and before entering the room they both reached out and grabbed ahold of her.

“Where do you think you are going?” Hikaru snapped.

“Don't you realize that everyone is going to see you?” Kaoru added just as furiously.

Turning to the boys, she shrugged, “They are bound to find out sooner or later. We might as well get it over with quickly. At least the gossip will be over and done with faster.”

Her reasoning was logical to her but to the two boys they were about ready to protest. They lost the chance as Kimiko and Momoka ran up to Haruhi, while pushing in between the twins. They watched in horror as the girls mimicked their usual double hold on Haruhi and dragged her into the main hall.

The twins followed after expecting to see the world explode in a catastrophic display of hormone driven teen boys flocking up to their “toy”.

Their fears were unfounded as most people just looked at them, expectantly. Not one person flocking to Haruhi's side. Much to their relief they, attempted to smooth their frazzled appearance and followed the trio of girls to the lunch room.

“Oh my gosh, Haruhi. It's so nice to have you eating lunch with us.” Kimiko squealed. “I think I saw Chizu and Natsu a moment ago and we should totally go over and eat lunch with them.”  
A moment passed before the girl asked her practiced line. “Wait, Haruhi... where is your lunch?” 

The twins looked her way, desperately curious as to who this girl was and what she did with Haruhi Fujioka. This wasn't Haruhi. It couldn't be. She never forgot her lunch. She never flirted and she sure as hell never wore dresses to school.

That was it. Hikaru lost it.

“I can't take this anymore.” He reached out and grabbed Haruhi by the arm and tugged her along with him trying to escape the public eye only to run straight into Ayame. She stumbled backward, surprised by the tackle and caught by the two boys flanking her side.

Tamaki and Kyoya regarded Hikaru with a frown.

“What's the hurry?” Tamaki asked. “You don't go bowling people down in public. Much less a lady. How dare you? Apologize at once you devilish demon. You should be ashamed of....” Tamaki paused as his eyes caught sight of the fact Hikaru was not holding the hand of his twin... but of a girl.

A girl, with short brown hair and a knowing smile.

“Hey senpai.” She said meekly.

A moment passed, then another, and slowly the world faded to black and white... before it exploded in a flurry of emotion. Haruhi. It was Haruhi, in a dress. In a dress at school. This was Haruhi, in a dress, at school.

His face flushed beet red and quickly let go of Ayame to wrap Haruhi up in the tightest embrace ever imaginable. His actions had Hikaru brushed off to the side but he didn't care. He was in shock.

“Haruhi!” He exclaimed. “What did you do!? Why?” He pulled away to look her over. His heart beat erratically. Unsure if he should be thrilled, horrified or a combination of both. 

Unable to breath Haruhi tried to extricate herself from him. She did not expect this and her face was a lovely shade of pink. “Tamaki.. senpai.. let.. me .. go...” She squirmed. “You can't do that now. It's not proper.”

She tried his argument for public affection against him and it worked as Tamaki visibly deflated.

“You are right. It's too much. No lady should be exploited with public displays of affection.” Then the realization struck him hard. “Why? You are dressed like a girl. Why would you do this?”

Once she caught her breath she looked him in the eye. “You wanted me to, remember?”

He sputtered, “No, I mean yes, I mean, no. This isn't right.” His eye caught Hikaru. “This is your fault you devil child. You did this to her.”

Indignant to the accusation Hikaru's imaginary feathers were ruffled. “I didn't do anything! Your the one always asking Haruhi to dress like this for your own perverted fantasy.”

The crowed around them grew larger. The students were thrilled that Haruhi and Renge's predictions of the Host Club buying the prank and even pretending they knew all along was working out so well.

Kyoya cleared his throat. “Did the prospect of your financial obligation cross your mind when you decided to confess yourself to being female?”

Haruhi nodded. Of course she thought about it. That was why this was only temporary but not wanting to destroy the ploy before it took full effect she went with her planned response.

“If I don't have clients I guess I will go back to being an errand boy.” pausing for a moment she tapped her lips with her finger. “Although this time, I guess I will be an errand girl.”

Indignantly Kyoya frowned before leaving her to her devices.

Tamaki examined Haruhi again before the tears in his eyes were once again present. “Why?” He asked again. “This hurts Daddy's feelings so much.” 

Renge popped up beside her and tilted her head in question. “I guess you really are his daughter now”

Giggling naturally, Haruhi locked her gaze with Tamaki before shrugging her shoulders. “Now that everyone knows I am a girl, you don't have to be my father figure anymore.” She tested the waters with this one. Not even Renge thought of this, nor did she think the poor girl was able to handle the next words. “Think of it this way Tamaki-senpai. You could be my lover now.”

Tamaki stumbled back a few steps, his face turning into the core of a volcano and unable to process the intoxicating words that just came out of the girl before him. 

Haruhi caught sight of Hikaru beside her, he was visibly fuming when his distraught brother returned to his side. She looked another direction and saw Mori and Honey coming into the room. She also sought out the furious gaze of Kyoya. They all heard her.

Wow... she thought. Clearing her mind of the disaster she caused before turning away from the discombobulated Tamaki altogether and heading back to the girls who were her cohorts. 

 

There was little said between the twins and Haruhi for the next several classes. To her dismay they seemed to be trying to ignore her.

She figured their childish behavior would be rearing it's ugly head sooner or later. 

As the classes concluded she found her feet following the same path as it did everyday. Behind her the steps of the two who also followed this habit were keeping pace.

She paused to let them catch up. They did and still not looking at her they walked to Music room 3 in silence.

Around corners people were peering and watching them. Curious to see what antics Haruhi would pull against the two boys. Many had made plans to attend the meeting to see more of the action.

“I know you boys are ignoring me. It's not going to help. You might as well get used to it.” She said to them.

They did their best to keep their straight faces. Hoping beyond hope that Kyoya had a plan to fix this. 

The boys opened the double doors and the trio made their way to the rest of the group. Honey was watching them curious as to what prompted the girl to reveal herself. He didn't look as distressed as the younger members were.

He was a bit miffed to hear the other boys in his class discuss loud enough for him to hear that they were getting ready to ask Haruhi out on a date. He wasn't sure if he would be able to stick to his loveable self if any of them actually tried to ask her. Dark Honey was lurking just below the surface but was held in check until he could figure out what the heck was happening.

“Haruhi.” Kyoya spoke up. “I am reserving the right to change your position should no one request you this evening.”

“Haru-chan, don't you like being a host?” Honey asked when she sat down at the table with the group. His eyes grew wide like those of an adorable puppy. “Why would you show up in girls clothing?”

A small pang of guilt hit her as she knew she had to play the joke on this member of the club as well. It had to be done unfortunately because if one knew, then they all would know soon enough. The prank was fragile and she needed them all to be a part of this for once.

Even still, Honey may not have done anything to her in the past but he did find humor in her embarrassment. He didn't even show remorse when those times presented themselves.

Smiling at him she replied, “I love being a host, Honey-senpai. The truth was going to come out one day anyway.”

He nodded in acknowledgment. “Yeah, but we wanted to keep you secret. The boys in my class were talking about dating you and it really was annoying. They were going to buy you sweets and cute stuffed animals. I had to tell them that you didn't like sweets or stuffed animals.” He looked worried. “I don't think they were listening to me.”

Renge popped her head into the room. “Helloooo everyone. Your manager is here!” She sang out in a cheery voice.

The boys around the table groaned in defeat. With Renge, the topic of Haruhi's true gender was still deep rooted as taboo. Even if the girl 'knew the truth', they didn't want to talk about it.

Sure enough the girls arrived and Haruhi being Haruhi found her way to her table. Sakurazuka and Kurakano made a be-line for her along with Chizu, Natsu and Ruri.

The four girls were beaming with excitement and began discussing all the funny things they saw that day. Doing their best to keep their voices low enough that the other hosts didn't overhear. Haurhi was glad they were around. She was going to need a moral boost just to get through to the next day.

“So who is the target tomorrow?”Momoka whispered.

“We need to focus on Kyoya. Since Tamaki and the twins are going to be getting it on a daily basis, we can't forget to make him blush.” Ruri conspired.

Haruhi looked over to the Shadow King. She watched as he regarded her with a firm expression. Over and over in her mind she recounted the numerous things he would add to her debt that were not her fault. She remembered how he cornered her, how he told her off and she remembered how he made certain to put her into a compromising position at the beach house. Only to turn it into a ploy to make a point for Tamaki. Yes, he deserved to be thrown off his game. Tomorrow, she would focus on him.


	4. Tuesday: Day 2 - Operation Fluster Kyoya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They call it Stormy Monday, But Tuesday's just as bad" - T-Bone Walker

Haruhi's Monday night was nothing to crazy. It was just her for a while until her father came home. They had dinner. She cleaned the uniform and picked up another dress from Momoka when she offered to take Haruhi home. 

She expected nothing to come from the first day as she assumed the boys were still in shock over the events of the day. For the most part, she was correct. However her father did reveal that he received a phone call from Kyoya.

Thankfully her dad was clueless to the prank and he just assumed as Haruhi hoped that she truly did out herself. 

Today's mission was based solely on that particular host. Kyoya may be the puppeteer of the group. The one behind the scenes subliminally suggesting ideas to the “Host King”. The one who blatantly uses the group to further the finances of the club, by selling their items, their photos or even their sessions. It seems like he thrives on controlling the club members.

He was dubbed the “cool” type and today was the test. How long would it take before she was able to take that cool demeanor and fluster him. The only one who had ever been able to fluster Kyoya, as far as anyone knew, was Tamaki.

Tamaki's no boundaries policy just might work. If only Haruhi wasn't intimidated by the Shadow King. She just couldn’t see pressing her body up against him as a tangible possibility. She couldn’t see pressing her body against anybody, ever.

No, the best way to get through to him was going to be manipulation. She just needed to think it through, and possibly ask the other students for help on this one.

Classes went like they had yesterday. The twins were prepared today and did their best not to make much of Haruhi's new outfit. They were still not in the mood to tease her. 

Every now and then she would throw them a charming smile and watch as their faces burned. Hikaru still looked ready to deck someone hard, and Kaoru was no longer as despondent at the day before. He blushed far more often than his brother did and she wondered why.

Before the afternoon break Haruhi had taken the opportunity to follow them to them to the restroom. She reached out for the door to the males bathroom and as if on cue Kaoru sputtered. 

“Haruhi, um.. that's the mens room.” He looked shocked for a moment. 

Here goes nothing, Haruhi thought. “Oh, sorry about that. I'm just so used to following you boys into the bathroom it never occurred to me.”

The students surrounding them all stopped and watched. They all overheard and many were blushing madly at Haruhi's intentions. Was 'he' really going to go into the girls restroom? Was 'he' going to go into the mens room just to toy with the twins?

Hikaru noticed the people watching them and bristled. “Go to the private restroom” he pointed down the hall.

Renge pulled a random boy over to her side out of Hitachiin eyesight. The boy nodded fervently and headed right over to the trio.

“Hey Haruhi, let me walk with you. I've been wanting to get to talk with you since you decided to come out and all.” He smirked at her. 

Twin sets of eyes threw daggers at the poor boy who didn't seem fazed one bit. Haruhi sensing the tension took a few steps towards the boy but felt the two beside her firmly grab ahold of her arms.

They didn't give her a chance to think about a response because they tugged her with them. Forgetting that they were the ones who needed to use the restroom.

“I can't take this anymore.” Hikaru grumbled. “There has to be something we can do to get these vultures out of the way.”

“I agree, Hikaru, but what can we do.” He glared down at Haruhi. “If anyone lays a hand on you, you better tell us.”

“Okay,” She began, “Right now both of you have your hands on me.”

As if they realized they were holding a moray eel, they quickly snatched their hands away from her. Both of them were surprised by her quick wit and cool, seductive voice.

“I didn't say you had to let go.” She added. Knowing full well that those words were just way to inappropriate for her to be using.

Hikaru huffed out and pushed Haruhi towards the doors to the private restroom. “Oh right, Guys I didn’t have to go. I was serious when I said I was just following you.” 

Kaoru choked on his intake of breath and looked around to see if anyone heard her. This couldn't be Haruhi. She was just not acting right and he was, for the second day in a row, terrified.

Hikaru pushed right past her and ran into the bathroom by himself, unable to hide the burning red blush from blazing across his face. He didn't want anyone else to know how her words had affected him and quickly shut the door behind him, locking his twin out there with the suddenly bold Haruhi.

She was baffled at how terrible the boys were taking their own medicine. She had to endure much worse from them and never once did she run off like this. Not when they hugged her, nuzzled her, said completely inappropriate things or even when they manhandled her into various elaborate outfits.

She shook her head at Kaoru before saying, “I am going to head to the cafeteria. See you there later?”

He gulped and nodded, then watched as Haruhi in her yellow dress walked away. He had never been this flustered over a girl before and he prayed it would never happen again. 

 

Entering the cafeteria without either twin she meandered in no particular direction hoping that one of the other hosts would catch her. As luck would have it, she locked eyes with Kyoya as had his gaze fixated on the door in case she had the courage to show.

Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, he excused himself from the table. Tamaki had his back to the door so he hadn't noticed her enter until Kyoya made his excuse. The host king was about to get up but held his seat when he realized he was frozen in aw at how adorable Haruhi looked that day.

Her hair was not in berets but had a braided headband. She also appeared to be wearing light makeup. Unfortunately her eyes were glued to Kyoya and knowing the mood his best friend was in, now was not the time to jump into the conversation.

Instead he found himself in a fantasy of Haruhi waltzing up to him, and into his arms while he wooed her. The words from yesterday “now we can be lovers” repeated over and over in his mind.

Kyoya stood before her firmly, unwavering in his resolve. “I don't know how long you plan on wearing this uniform. Girl or boy you are still indebted to us.” He kept his tone even, “Yesterday was a fluke. Your usual guests would of course flock to you but as you have no romantic appeal to them, it will not last long.”

“Romantic appeal. I thought we were supposed to entertain them.” She countered just as evenly.

Bemused, he waved a hand, “You know full well that the guest arrive to flirt and be flirted with. As the natural you are not aware of how well you can flirt but believe me when I say the ladies will not stay interested for very long.”

“What about boys?” She asked in an attempt but it he expected this remark.

“Besides Kasanoda, how many boys would willingly walk into the third music room?” Kyoya smirked. Thinking he won this round.

“With a female host, I am sure others would be curious. I was nearly asked out not long ago and if it hadn't been for Hikaru and Kaoru dragging me to the restroom I am sure he would have...”

“That's besides the point.” Kyoya cut her off. “The fact of the matter is that you are no longer going to be hosting as you are.”

“So I will be your errand boy, er, girl.” She prompted.

Frowning but still in complete composure, “Call it what you may, but in true form, yes, you are once again the Host Clubs dog.”

“Whatever senpai, I am going to sit with Kurakano and the rest of the girls. If you don't need me..” She trailed off. A little disappointed in the lack of reaction and was about to walk towards the group of female friends when her eyes locked onto the boy who attempted flirting with her earlier.

Amused as he was with the whole “Dude looks like a lady” prank, he was going to just sit back and watch the show. However the look Fujioka sent his way brought him to terms with his role in the game. After all it was fun to piss of those pretty boys. 

“Long time no see, Fujioka.” He teased. “I hope I'm not interrupting anything.” He lied as he looked between Haruhi and the Ootori guy.

Haruhi may not know this boy, but Kyoya did and he was not pleased. The boy was one of Kuze's lackeys and that above all else was not something he was going to put up with. 

“Indeed you are interrupting.” Kyoya replied. 

He brushed off the comment and plundered forward. “So as I was trying to ask you earlier.” He faced Haruhi, not caring that this whole thing felt weird. Fujioka really did look like a girl and it was kind of disturbing. “Would you like to go out with me tonight?”

Before Haruhi could answer, Kyoya stepped up. “No, Haruhi has to join us for Host Club this evening.” His eyes leered at the boy, and a glare of light reflected off the lenses of his glasses.

“I wasn't asking you.” The boy retorted. Even though he had no intension of going out with a guy, he was thoroughly enjoying the prank.

Kyoya placed his hand on her shoulder pulling her back from the intruding interloper. “Believe what you wish. Haruhi may have reveled herself to be a girl but she does not date. Nor does she intend to in the near future.”

“So you speak for her, then?” He challenged.

“I speak on behalf of her father who I can call this very minute should you wish.” Kyoya reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone.

A devilish smirk appeared across the boys face as he took the two of them into consideration. Kyoya Ootori, protecting a little boy in drag. That was rich. “Well, it looks like Ootori has staked a claim on you, Fujioka.” He chuckled before shrugging his shoulders. “Wouldn't want to get in the way of true love.” 

Haruhi face burned. She wasn't supposed to blush but the idea of her and Kyoya as true loves didn't cross her mind. It was as unnerving as it was intriguing. Deep down, Haruhi knew that even if her older class mate had even the slightest romantic inklings for her, he wouldn't display them. Nor would he act upon them. To him, she served no gains.

It irked her though, that the remark her unknown accomplice had tossed their way fell onto a stoic facade. If the accusation did have an affect on Kyoya, he didn't show it. He was cold, and firm in his resolve to protect her from any one who would do her harm even if it meant pulling the Ranka card.

“Kyoya senpai, there is no need to bring my father into this.” Haruhi protested but not in an unkind tone. She sounded pleading and that sound alone was enough to chip away at the frost between the two boys.

“I was only proving my point. Haruhi Fujioka is not available to seek male attention. Your father made that clear when you signed up for the Host Club. After all Haruhi, you are still a member.”

He is contradicting himself today. First I am not allowed to be a host, I'm an errand runner. Now I am a full member of the club again. Indecisive. But that's probably the best I am going to get out of him. She paused in her mental babble. Then again...

In an act of boldness she took her senpai's arm into hers hands and sliding up to his side in a brash moment of insanity. Being this close to him was unthinkable and the entire student body that was present, sputtered in their shock.

Even the boy across from her was caught off guard. “I'm so sorry. I have to decline. It looks like Kyoya needs my full attention for the time being.”

Unable to hide the embarrassment at her phrase, Kyoya cleared his throat and broke eye contact with his opponent. In an attempt to keep his cool illusion he, placed the opposing hand across the small hands Haruhi had exposed while her arms were hooked onto his right arm.

Together they left behind a stunned teen and an even more stunned room of gawking students.

“If you are going to be in the public refectory, you would do well to sit with us.” Kyoya remarked cooly. “And don't think I don't know what you are trying to do.”

Haruhi gulped. Had he figured it out already? “What do you mean, Kyoya senpai?”

A frown appeared on his face but he remained silent while they approached Tamaki who was now in deep discussion with the twins. They stopped when they noticed the two approaching with their arms linked. Indignant expressions crossed over Tamaki and Hikaru. Both feeling jealously bubble up from deep within them.

Sensing that she might have taken a step too far, too soon, she let go of Kyoya's arm and casually settled herself in a chair beside Tamaki. She glanced out of the corner of her eye and delivered a well executed girlish simper.

The effect was instantaneous. Tamaki looked away as quickly as possible, cover his mouth with his hand. There was no way he could look at her when she did that while looking as she did. 

The boys were all perplexed by the game she was playing. They knew she was a natural when it came to ladies, they knew that as a boy she would have the girls tittering all over and blushing. As a girl, they didn't expect her to be just as tempting. As a girl, they couldn't fathom how she was driving them all mad. All except Honey and Mori who were able to keep a calm composure. 

What was she up to? By revealing herself she had effectively destroyed their little family, their band of brothers. She was tying them in knots emotionally, mentally and damn it all.. physically. They couldn't help the blushes that rose on their faces at her antics. They couldn't control the twinges and butterflies that tumbled around in their stomachs. All they knew what that Haruhi, as a girl, was breaking them down.

Clearing his throat and mentally preparing himself for the response to come, Kyoya asked, “Might I ask how you intended on paying for your lunch today?”

Blinking in response to this, Haruhi fumbled for the right words. It was part of the plan not to bring her lunch to school since the girls who helped her insisted that it would drive the Hosts nuts if someone else bought her food. She had refused to do it more than just the first day. She was ready to bring it with her when her phone had rung and Kurakano told her that she and Sakurazuka had planned for a friend of theirs to interrupt the group with a “surprise lunch.”

Who ever it was, had not arrived and Haruhi blushed in embarrassment. She felt as if she finally had been caught in the act. She was sure her game was blown when all the eyes looked her way. They waited on bated breath for what felt like an eternity but was no more than a 15 second lull.

Hikaru grunted in frustration with her lack of response and pushed his tray over to her. “Here, eat this before some loser tries to buy you lunch.”

She smiled at him when she noticed that he had already exceeded his max color. His hair had a rival when it came to hue. 

The others seemed satisfied with this but all knew that Tamaki was mentally kicking himself for not jumping to that solution first. He would do it too, and possibly still would if she didn't bring her lunch the next day. 

Haruhi was about to thank her friend when Mori and Honey showed up at their table. The group had continued to ignore the proverbial elephant in the room and began to discuss the next club cosplay. 

 

She was out of ideas. Kyoya Ootori is tough to crack and she knew it would be a challenge. What would it take for him to loose his composure? What would it look like when he did?

Outward displays of emotion were just not something he ever expressed. His defense at the lunch hour was more than she expected but still, after all the debt and irritation he caused, it wasn't enough. There had to be something more.

The accomplice of her two guests never showed up for lunch. Kurakano had apologized for the mix up as it wasn't supposed to happen until Thursday, the day before she revealed she was just messing around. Knowing this, gave Haruhi the courage to bring her bento the next day and to use the suggestion Ruri had given her about 'sharing' with her target for that day.

Haruhi had not yet chosen her main target for the next day as she was fully focusing her attention on Kyoya.

This was a tough spot she was stuck in and only knew two people who could help her with this problem. Kyoya's own Host Club guests, Yuriko Aika and Azusa Suwaki.

During class the teacher announced their study hour and left them to their work. Haruhi used that moment to leave her desk, baffling the twins who watched her carefully. She approached her professor and asked “Would it be alright if I took my studies to the library. I wanted to ask a couple of second years tutors to help me out with a problem.”

The teacher look up at her from where he was sitting “Oh and what might this problem be?” He was never skeptical of the honor student but knowing that she was the central point of some sort of prank he was hesitant to let her leave without supervision. Or a good excuse.

“It's a social and biological study of the psychological mindset. I wanted to prepare and since I don't currently attend any classes of this nature.” She paused, “It's to help my financial status here at Ouran.”

She tried her best not to lie to her teacher. Indeed this was going to help her financial standings at Ouran,if only for the club debt. And her description of her study on Kyoya was vague and elaborate but she couldn't very well say, 'Oh I'm just going to crack into the teenage mind of Kyoya Ootori to see what makes him tick.' No, that was something Renge would have said.

He scrutinized the student before him before nodding his head. Agreeing that such a smart student really couldn't be up to no good. At that thought, his eyes locked onto the twins who, luckily were still in their seats watching the teen he was addressing.

“Be sure to be back in your seat when the hour is up. I am holding you to your standard as an honor student Fujioka.” He left off the Mr. as he himself would feel odd referring to a student dressing in female clothing as such.

Bowing, Haruhi muttered her thanks and left the class room with her phone in the pocket of her yellow dress.

Once outside she searched the contents of her contact list. She had been tutored once upon a time by Ayame and she still held onto that number. Once selected she texted, “Library for study hour, need help. Need Akia and Suwaki.”

She sent and waited for the response which arrived moments later. “I will come also.”

Haruhi sighed and using her hands pressed them into her face. She rubbed her eyes careful to avoid moving her contact lenses too much. With a huff to release her pent up tension she found herself heading off to the library.

Once she reached the rendezvous point she unconsciously smoothed her skirt before grabbing the handle, turning it and stepping inside. She expected the room to be empty, which it was but noticed the table nearest the entrance to host the three 2nd year students. Each of them regarded her with humor and curiosity when she approached them.

The two girls both had short brown hair but where Yuriko had her hair curled under, Azusa had her hair curled outward in reminder of a 1950's american teen style.

They giggled and grinned when she approached. Azusa laughed “Haruhi, you look adorable!”

Yuriko, who still sported a grin, covered her mouth to suppress a giggle, “I can't believe how well you pull off looking like a girl. It's just too bad you don't dress this way more often.”

Haruhi shrugged and Ayame looked down to her with approval and humor. “You did pull off a successful prank.” She brushed back her straightened hair, which she did from time to time as even after Tamaki confessed she looked fine with her normal curls.

“It's not over yet.” Haruhi droned. “I hate to admit this but I am having trouble with Kyoya.”

She really did hate to admit it, like she said. These girls knew him well. They knew his hosting style better than she did and willingly sought them out for their assistance.

“You all know how he is.” She lifted a shoulder and let it drop back down. 

“He uses that debt to control you.” Ayame supplied.

“He uses his cool demeanor to get under your skin?” Yuriko suggested

“He pretends not to be affected emotionally no matter who it is.” Completed Azusa.

Haruhi nodded, of course they would understand. She was glad she was able to contact them. They were going to be a great source of ideas that are specific to Kyoya Ootori. Implementing them, was probably something Haruhi was going to struggle with.

 

Haruhi hurried back to her classes after the meeting with the three girls. She was armed with some new ideas and with even more conviction she made an effort to leave class before even the twins at the end of the school session. They of course were not too happy with her running off where they couldn't keep an eye on her.

Hikaru huffed when he realized she left her text book on the table. Kaoru picked it up and together they left the class. 

“I still don't get it.” Kaoru mumbled. “Why would she break the secret?”

Hikaru shrugged, “If I have to hear another guy talk about going out with her, I'm gonna loose it.”

“I know what you mean. It's annoying and we both knew it would be but come on, it's not like she would date anyone anyway.” Kaoru waved the hand that held Haruhi's text book. “She has so much school work that I doubt she would have time for a boyfriend on top of homework and the club.”

They both stopped and looked at each other. Would she stay in the club?

 

Kyoya left his class at the usual time. He didn't rush because nothing in Host Club ever began without him. Besides his mind was occupied with how to utilize Haruhi in the club activities. She did receive guests the day prior and perhaps, with luck, that pattern would continue.

He never gave credence to the idea of a female host. Especially when said female was previously deemed a male.

He wants to be furious with her. He wants to feel something akin to dislike and disapproval. At first, this was true but now that the initial shock has dispersed and reality as settled in, he felt great amount of uncertainty. That alone was enough to make him edgy.

Not only that but with her new found ability to flirt. It's as if she flirts by nature and has no inkling of what she is doing. If she did, he doubted she was alone since the boys all knew that she was unable to register romantic notions. 

Not matter, he was able to keep composed. Haruhi would not get the better of him. He wouldn't allow it especially sine he decided that the girl was not meant for him long ago. She would serve no great purpose with him. She wouldn't bring any advancement to his family.

Haruhi Fujioka was off limits and that was where she would stay.

He mentally prepared himself on the way to the music room that housed his clubs activities. He did not pay attention to the student around him, nor did his pay attention to the ramblings of his best friend beside him.

Tamaki patted him on the shoulder to gain his attention. “I am going to visit my father and see if he can do something about this.” 

Kyoya was somewhat perplexed as to why Tamaki would see out his father for the situation with Haruhi but waved off the thought as it was no doubt a futile attempt. The Headmaster of their school could hardly do anything to convince the student body that their initial lie was accurate and that this truth was the falsehood.

Upon entering the club room he spied Haruhi sitting on one of the sofas alone with the tea sets before her on the table. She was preparing for her guest early. Commendable but still bothersome as she continued to wear that damned yellow dress.

“Senpai, you are early.” She looked up and smiled at him.

“No, you are the one who is early.” He said cooly taking his book bag to his usual seat at the table. He pulled out his laptop and set aside a notebook. Carefully out of the corner of his eye he watched her. 

She quietly went back to preparing the tea set. She silently counted the cups and glanced in his direction with a smile. 

Fearing Haruhi had noticed him staring at her he averted his gaze and pulled up the host clubs financial spread sheet on his laptop. He calculated the numbers easily in his head give or take a few mistakes before reworking the spreadsheet to fix any mishaps caused by damaged property. 

The previous week involved a great deal of destruction and he unfortunately had to make up for the loses. 

Kyoya pressed his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose and squeezed to release the pressure building from the on coming headache. He heard rather than saw, due to his closed eyes, the clink of a cup next to him.

Surprised he opened his eyes to see Haruhi standing beside him. She had placed a cup of tea right beside his notebook. 

He cleared his throat, “Thank you.”

Haruhi didn't move away nor did she show any intention to return to her tea preparation. “Stress can not only lead to headaches but to elevated blood pressure, upset stomach, chest pains and even cause your sleep to become disturbed.” 

“I sleep fine.” Kyoya waved her descriptions of distress. “Stress has positive results as well.”

“True. But I highly doubt that increased focus and motivation is worth the increased risk of Coronary Disease.” She countered before settling down in the seat beside him.

A smile appeared across his face, it was faint but it was there and he regarded her with appraisal. Sometimes it was refreshing to know at least one member of the club was smart enough to keep an interesting conversation.

Haruhi had noticed the slight crack and took advantage of it. “If you don't find a form of stress release soon, you may end up with a migraine before the day is out.”

“Oh and what do you recommend?” He smirked at her. But before she could answer him the club door opened and the other hosts had arrived. They took in the sight of Kyoya and Haruhi at the table and with frown on some, and smiles on others found their ways to their respective corners to await their guests.

Haruhi giggled using her hand to cover her mouth. “Maybe I will show you later.” 

If she knew what that phrase did to him, she didn't show it. Instead she stood up and went back to her table to pick up her tea tray and carried it to her own hosting table. The cup beside Kyoya was still steaming and the fragrance drew his attention.O

She had given him his favorite tea.

 

“So what did they tell you at the library?” The girl known as Natsu asked. “Kimiko told me that you went to meet them. Oh I wish we had class together, it's such a disappointment not to see all the fun first hand.”

Once Host Club activities started the three regular guests plus the two new girls were quick to jump to Haruhi's table. Only they were not expecting to see boys wondering outside the room to get a quick peak inside. 

Two had popped inside to be met with death glares from the Hitachiin twins, and hysterical demands as to “what brought them there in the first place” by Tamaki. They bowed out soon after not even getting a chance to request an audience with Haruhi.

“It really wasn't much. We just discussed the different tactics to use on someone like Kyoya senpai.” She said softly. 

Haruhi had been sneaking glances periodically to her senpai while he hosted Yuriko and Azusa. He was charming with them and not at all cold. Haruhi was still baffled on how that person could be the same man as the one who could stare into the face of danger without flinching. How this sweet personality of his compared to the dominating figure of the time he once held her captive on his bed...

Whoa.. where did that come from... She felt her face burn with the memory. How the hell did she fluster herself? Sadly it didn't go unnoticed.

“Oooooo, did you just come up with an idea?” Chizu asked with a giggle.

“You have to tell us!” Ruri cried before hushing her voice to avoid attention. “Please Haruhi.”

The moment passed and her brain kicked into high gear as an idea did begin to form. She bit her lip, then looked over in his direction. Her eyes locked with Azusa who smirked at her. With a nod and blink she gave Haruhi a signal saying it was a good time to approach.

She nodded back and spoke to her guests. “Alright. I'm going in.” 

The girls were brimming with excitement. Their hands over their mouths as they watched Haruhi approached Kyoya with her skirt swaying up on each step. She stepped up behind him before placing a hand on his shoulder. 

The action alone was enough to bring his attention to her. “Can I help you?”

“Senpai, I was wondering if I could talk with you...” she paused, glancing and making eye contact with both guests, “alone is possible?”

“I don't see why we would need to be alone, Haruhi.” He stated coldly, not sure what game she was playing. He had noticed the way his guests were smiling and it unnerved him. Perhaps there was a ploy in effect. What that ploy was exactly he could not place it. 

“I guess it could wait.” She shrugged. “After all, it would leave me vulnerable to you.”

“Excuse me?” He frowned. Deep in the recess of his memories he had used those words on her before. Only now it was being thrown back at him as a reminder of an intimate and yet compromising moment in their history.

Haruhi smiled at him with all the charm she could muster. “Then again, it wouldn't do you any good. There would be no merit.”

He felt his heart skip a few beats. She giggled, “You are a very nice guy, Kyoya senpai. Would you like another cup of tea. For the stress, you know?”

Azusa and Yuriko were both holding back their laughter while they watched Kyoya fight for control of his facial expression. He did well but they were able to catch a few startled blinks and the parting of his lips as he let out a breath. Cool as he is, he too was beginning to crumble under the flirtatious advances of the female Fujioka.

Who knew what the next day would bring?


	5. Wednesday: Day 3 - Edible Torture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Waiting for Wednesday, my stomach doesn't hurt enough" - Lisa Loeb

“Haruhi, Haruhi, Haruhi”, Momoka called out. Her hair was flying behind her as her skirt swayed in every direction. She ran across the path way of leading to the gates of Ouran Academy stoping just short to meet her favorite host, panting to catch her breath.  
Haruhi, who had just obviously arrived after walking to school, was silently swearing at the shoes she was wearing. She was seriously considering asking her father for a ride to school the next morning if she was able to maintain her ploy another day. Her feet were killing her, which is why she was amazed to see her friend running while wearing the same damn shoes. How the hell is she doing that? She wondered.   
“What's up Momoka?” Haruhi asked while adjusting the bag on her shoulder. The girl before her reached out and grabbed her hand, tugging her into the school grounds.  
After catching her breath she revealed. “The Host Club is having an emergency meeting.”  
“Are they? They didn't call me. Or at least I don't think they did.” She looked to her bag to find the phone the boys insisted she keep on hands at all times.  
If the host club was having a meeting then she should probably be there. She didn't want to upset Kyoya who would most likely increase her ever inflating debt. This may be a prank but she was still responsible and responsibility dictated she be present at meetings.  
“No they wouldn't,” Momoka cut in. “The meeting is about you.”  
This caught Haruhi by surprise. It shouldn't. In fact she should have seen it coming. They were still trying to figure out what possessed her to out herself and they were probably trying to find alternate reasons to get the school to believe she was a boy again.  
Momoka tugged on Haruhi's hand. “Come on, follow me. Renge had a great idea and we need to find Nekozawa senpai.”  
“Nekozawa senpai?” She asked. Curiosity seeped into her at that point. Tamaki was terrified of their older classmate. The twins played along with the fear but she knew they didn't really care much for him. The rest of the club was alright with him, so whatever plan Renge was concocting had to be interesting.  
They made it back to the school building in no time flat. The large building was milling about with activity. Male and female student nodded in her direction in greeting. Some went so far as to whisper a thanks to her for the fun week they were all having.  
She nodded to them, thanked them in return for playing along and smiled when a few girls tittered about how cute it would be if she would actually kiss one of them. Each requesting their favorite host for her to have a make out session with. Haruhi had no intention on going that far.   
Once Momoka and Haruhi arrived at the door to class 2-B, Renge was standing beside Umihito Nekozawa. He tilted his head in greeting to Haruhi. Renge shouted the moment she saw Momoka.  
“Oh good you found her!” Renge reached out and tugged Haruhi's other arm to bring her into their circle faster. “Listen up, Haruhi. We have found you the perfect love interest. I mean, not perfectly perfect, a host would be perfect but they are not going to be able to do this for you. I mean, I don't know he is going to do it for you, wait, no, not 'do it'. I don't mean that. Well maybe, but...”  
“Get to the point.” Haruhi rolled her eyes at Renge's ramble. That girl barely made any sense on a normal basis. Somehow, she jumped into mindless babble overdrive. Besides her ramble had caused Nekozawa to blush, if only slightly.  
“The point is, Nekozawa senpai is going to pursue you as if you were a real girl.” she squealed. “He said he didn't mind. Isn't that right?” She looked at him but went right back to talking before he could respond. “We asked a few others and they said they would ask you out but other than that they didn't want to get too close to another guy. Too bad, it would be so MOE if they did.”  
Looking at the expectant expressions on the Renge and Momoka's faces, Haruhi knew that she needed to let this happen. Besides, with the Host club knowing Nekozawa as they did, he would be least likely to get the crap beaten out of him by the twins.  
She sighed, tugged her bag up higher on her shoulder and nodded. “Sure, as long as he agrees.” She glanced up at him and he gave her a shy smile before nodding in acceptance.  
“It would be my pleasure.” He held Beelzenef up and let the little hands of his puppet rub together evilly. “Besides, there is much joy in putting terror in the hearts of the Host Club.”  
“eer... Right” Haruhi chuckled nervously. She needed to be careful if a boy was going to openly pursue her. If anyone figured out that Haruhi's joke was the truth then she would be seriously screwed. She only hoped she could trust Nekozawa if he did find out. At this point she would rather have Kasanoda do this. At least he knew the truth.  
Hikaru and Kaoru were late to class. She knew why but it was still weird to see them wonder in well after the mornings roll call. They didn't even apologize to the instructor. Hell, they didn't even say anything to her. Hikaru tossed her a glare and Kaoru couldn't meet her eyes.  
Oh great, She thought. They didn't look like they were going to fall for her jokes today. Maybe she should switch it up and be herself for once. Ignoring them always brought out their inner demons. She gave herself a mental nod and averted her eyes. It would be good to focus on school work anyway.   
She put pen to paper and began taking notes on the classes current topic. Her feet were still hurting her so she had them tucked under her desk with the ankles crossed so that she didn't have to put pressure down on her feet. Once this week was over she would be glad to return to normal.   
Glancing out of the corner of his eye every so often Kaoru watched her. He couldn't believe what Kyoya had revealed to them.   
There was no way Haruhi was that clever but she had to be. There was no other reason because if she wasn't clever then she was doing exactly what Kyoya said. The bookish, nerdy, natural host had finally come to her senses.   
If Kyoya was correct then Haruhi was trying to get under their skin. She was testing the waters on being a girl and really for once, trying to have a romantic relationship. There was nothing else.  
He was in denial and so was Hikaru. They didn't want to think this was true. They wanted to believe Haruhi was just being an ass. They wanted to believe that she was just like them and was playing a game. Only, how would that be possible? She outed herself. She was dressed like a girl and the whole school knew she was.   
Boys were asking about her. They saw that guy yesterday trying to flirt with her and she even started to wear makeup. Why now? Why would she just change everything about herself in one weekend. It didn't make sense. He didn't want it to.  
The meeting that morning came as a surprise. Tamaki had called them before they even left the house and told them to be early. The six boys sat around the club room table and did what they could to figure out how to make Haruhi into a boy again.  
That was when Kyoya dropped the bomb. Haruhi must have finally realized her hormones were real and not just something in a biology text book. She also must have figured out that if she tested her girly wiles on the Host Club she could practice with someone safe, someone she knew.   
Kaoru knew this was complete crap. That was not Haruhi. That was not the girl sitting next to him.  
He looked at her again and watched how her ankles were entwined together. How her skirt flowed over her and how she nibbled at the end of her pen when there was nothing to take note of. No. That's not right.  
He glance past her to his brother and saw that he too was staring at her. Only not as inconspicuous as Kaoru. Hikaru pretty much gawked at her. He too noticed the cross of her ankles but he also noticed one more thing. She was ignoring them.  
Hikaru's mouth was set into a grim line as he shot his brother a look. It was as if to say, What the hell!? Kaoru only shrugged back at him while shaking his head. There had to be a reason. Kyoya had to be wrong.  
Haruhi had not noticed the stares the boys were tossing her way, nor did she see the silent conversation but she knew that it had happened. They were too quiet and part of her was curious as to what happened in the club meeting.  
It wasn't important though. The break was now being called and soon enough the lunch hour would begin.  
She stood up and headed out of the class. Completely ignoring the twins and headed to the nearest private restroom.   
Once she was out of the room and obviously out of ear shot Hikaru snapped. “What the fuck!? Two days of torture and now this?”  
Kaoru shook his head. “I don't get it. I just don't.”  
Their fellow class mates were milling about and some had also left the class to use the facilities. They didn't want to be too obvious that they were listening to every word the Hosts said through out the week. They did their best to give Renge the full report.   
Hikaru grumbled under his breath for a bit before spitting out. “Kyoya is wrong. He has to be.”  
“I know he is wrong, the problem is, what if he is right?” Kaoru asked. “What if Haruhi is ready to finally accept dating?”  
Hikaru's fist came down on his desk. “No way. Haruhi is not going to date anyone.”  
His brother shook his head. “What are we going to do about it?”  
It was a good question. Good enough that both of them fell silent. What would they do if Haruhi started dating someone?   
When she came back to the room they both watched her, skirt swaying as she carefully placed her feet down. The effect of which made her look as if she was swaying on purpose to gain a reaction. However, this time it was only out of courtesy to her swollen feet. She sat down carefully and crossed her ankles again. Glancing at both their red faces Haruhi tilted her head questioningly. An act that increased her cute factor dramatically.  
Hikaru lost his anger instantly and turned away from her. Failing miserably at hiding the growing blush of his cheeks.  
She was glad she had her bento box today. She had plenty of left overs over the last couple of days that she was able to make enough to share.   
Honey and Mori were the first in the refectory when she arrived and she instantly found herself heading their way. The twins who had accompanied her quietly headed to the service line. They had not said a single word to her when they left class.   
Perhaps her senpai's would be more willing to converse with her since obviously the Hitachiins were playing mute. With as much grace as she could muster while walking in those death shoes she made her way to their table and sat down.  
Honey looked up like a deer in the headlights. He glanced quickly at his cousin before looking back at their friend. “Haru-chan, you brought your lunch today?” He tilted his head curious about what was going on in her head. They both were curious but the way Honey looked at her she wasn't sure what he was thinking.   
“I did. Since I forgot it yesterday I had extra so I made a larger portion to share with you guys.” She smiled.  
Blinking in surprise Honey glance back to Mori who had given a shrug as his reply to the silent question. He then turned back to Haruhi giving her a big smile. “That's so sweet Haru-chan.”  
Haruhi let out a giggle and opened the box, or rather boxes, once she unwrapped the cloth from around her lunch. She separated the stack in into a row, three boxes in total and opened them up revealing various bits of meats, rolls and rice.   
She smiled at the two sitting across the table from her and to the two boys who joined her at either side during that time. Hikaru scoffed at her “Planning to eat all that yourself?”   
He tapped his fork against his tray before digging it into the fruit salad. He didn't notice that Haruhi had taken a roll from the center box with her chop sticks. He only noticed that she had put her hand on top of his causing him to pause and look at her. His cheeks rose in color when she held it up to him.  
“Open up.” She said knowing full well how out of character that was coming out of her mouth, she wasn't surprised that he didn't obey her fully. His jaw did slack so that was a good indication that what she was doing had an effect.   
Haruhi tilted her head to the side and nudged her hand closer. Still, he didn't move. Instead of forcing it, she shrugged and pulled her hand away. Taking a slow bite, savoring the morsel. Hikaru didn't say anything, didn't move and yet he wasn't the only one. Honey and Mori were taken aback by her bold gesture.   
The group waited patiently for the arrival of their other two club mates. None of them knew what to do with their former secret princess as she had returned to ignoring the twins and offering her boxes to the elder boys at the table. Honey had taken a piece as had his cousin but neither said anything other than 'thank you'.  
Tamaki arrived first and was at first a little miffed that the twins once again beat him in sitting next to Haruhi. The emotion was soon replaced with surprise when he noticed that she had not one but three bento boxes before her. Three boxes, but she was only eating out of one. Three boxes meant she brought extra food. Extra food means she was sharing. Haruhi was sharing her lunch... WITH BOYS.   
Internally fighting his dramatic urge to kick Hikaru and Kaoru off their seats he managed to find his way to the head of their table. The end of the table is where a King should sit but still..it was so far away from Haruhi. He took his seat anyway, clicking his tray as he lay it on the table.   
Haruhi looked up and beamed at him. “I haven't see you all morning Tamaki-senpai.” She brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear and frowned as the hair fell back in her face. Without a clip it would be impossible to keep it out of her face. The whole motion was too cute for him to think straight. He was unable to speak so instead she continued for him. “Are you hiding from me?”  
Tamaki sputtered, eyes wide and looked like he was ready to defend his absence and would have too, if his best friend had not shown up that exact moment. Kyoya cleared his voice and found his way to the other end of the table, placing his tray down, adjusting his glasses and then taking a seat.   
“No one was hiding from you this morning, Haruhi.” He acted cool and collected. Completely avoiding eye contact with her. No doubt still affected by the day prior.   
“Then what? Did you guys have a secret meeting without me?” she accused. Each and every one of the boys averted their eyes suddenly finding their food interesting.   
Looks like they were not going to fess up. It didn't matter anyway, the whole school knew what they were up to. The spies were everywhere. Renge made sure of that. The hosts could be as sneaky as they wanted but nothing was going to be secret. Everyone was way to invested in the prank to let the whole thing crumble after a couple days.  
Going back to her food she poked around with her chop sticks contemplating what her next move would be. She glanced to Tamaki, who's face was still a shade of rosy pink. He would be the best target at this time. After all the comments he made about her commoner life style, he would be the first to want to try her cooking. He had said so many times before that he wanted her to cook for him. She reached into her bento an pulled out a seasoned pork omusubi.   
Her eyes were still on Tamaki when he looked up at her. She smiled and then took a bite of her food. He quickly averted his gaze before taking a deep breath trying his best to keep composed. Yes, he was going to be the target.  
She waited patiently while the group ate in silence. She scanned the group periodically trying to find her opening. The twins were just about finished with their trays and since there was nothing 'fun' going on she knew they would be the first to leave the table.   
Soon enough with almost perfect synchronization the twins stood up without a word, taking their trays to dispose of the remainder. They didn't even look back but Haruhi knew they would not be able to maintain their silence for much longer.  
Taking that moment Haruhi slid herself into the chair nearest Tamaki and nudged a near full bento box towards him. “I know you want it.”  
He choked on a mouth full of pasta primavera. His violet eyes were wide as can be and his cheeks grew several shades darker. Who knew where that perverted mind of his headed when she uttered those words but Haruhi didn't give it a second thought. Instead she obtained a pair of spare chop sticks and picked up a piece of Shabu-shabu and repeated the action she tried on Hikaru earlier.  
Tamaki backed away slowly as she leaned in. Her eyes were intent on his face watching for the moment when his mouth would drop open. She licked her lips without conscious thought and apparently that was enough to draw a sound out of him effectively opening his mouth enough for her to shove that tiny piece of meat into his mouth.  
She grinned “There that wasn't so bad.” She went back into her own bento box without thinking and picked up another piece of meat before eating it herself.   
Tamaki flipped his lid. Figuratively speaking when he stood up and ran out of the room. Haruhi just used the same chop sticks to eat.. the same ones he just ate from. It was enough to have his brain screaming “Indirect kiss! Indirect kiss!”  
Kyoya wiped his mouth and cleared his throat which had the three remaining at the table to look his way. “Haruhi, I don't need to remind you that you are still a host and as such we expect you to be at club activities today.”  
With that he stood and left the table, Honey and Mori who should have been the first to leave since they were the first to arrive were still patiently waiting for Haruhi to finish her bento. They were kind enough to help her out by sharing the remainder.   
“Thanks for sharing Haru-chan. It was yummy.” Honey stood up and helped her stack the boxes up so that she could rewrap them. “Do you want Takashi and I to walk you back to class? I don't trust some of the boys in this school anymore. They have been giving you looks and... the things they are saying...”  
He trailed off. His eyes grew dark like when he was preparing for battle. The thought of the male students of Ouran Academy pursuing Haru-chan was unforgivable to him. He would not allow it.  
Picking up the wrapped containers she smiled at him, using one hand to push that pesky strand of hair behind her ear again. “It's alright. I can walk back by myself. Thanks for helping me with the lunch. The others didn't look like they were ready for my cooking.”  
Honey giggled and Mori chimed in. “It's not the cooking they weren't ready for, Haruhi.” He placed a hand on her head before he walked off with Honey in tow.  
She felt really bad about what she had to do to the elder club mates. It was difficult to pull a prank on those two with how nice they were. They didn't do much to annoy her as the others did. Still they didn't stop pranks. They didn't help her out when the twins were in full flurry. Only on rare occasions would Mori come to her rescue but for the most part he would sit there with a smile on his face when she was the target for teasing.   
Haruhi would go to the club that afternoon. Host Club activities were about to get more interesting.  
The halls of Ouran Academy were usually empty after classes as students were either heading home or heading to their various clubs. Of course you would get the occasional gaggle of girls in the corner reading a love letter, or a group of boys talking about what their weekend plans would be. Other than that, the halls were quiet.  
Today was not so. Students didn't want to go home, they wanted to know what other events were to transpire as the natural host played the best prank Ouran had ever seen.  
As class ended Haruhi stepped out of her class to find a shadow lurking in the corridor. She sucked the bottom of her lip involuntarily. Unsure exactly which moment her newly found “love interest” would present himself. She sort of hoped it wouldn't happen quite yet. Luckily as it turned out he didn't enter the light and gain too much attention.   
It didn't go unnoticed, however. Hikaru and Kaoru were no more than a few steps behind her. Only now they had fully caught up and kept her safely between them. Their eyes had landed on the spot where Nekozawa had momentarily been.   
Together the trio had wandered the hall to the third music room where their Host Club usually met. The boys opened the door and all three walked in without any announcement or care. None of the other hosts had arrived so the boys went about setting up what they thought would be the best configuration of seats for their “brotherly love” act. Not like they payed to much thought about what they were going to do. This was sort of an auto pilot for them.  
Haruhi didn't really have a plan either since her hosting style was simply talking with the girls. She instead went about preparing tea sets and searching the store room for the snacks that seem to never end.   
The sound of the other members entering the room caught her ear. Honey came up beside her quickly taking a look into the cabinet next to her.  
“Hey Haru-chan. I found a brand new cake in here. Want some?” He asked cheerfully before he remembered. “Oh wait, I forgot you don't like sweets. Sorry.”  
Haruhi giggled. “It's alright Honey-senpai. I can make you some tea for it. Maybe I can sit with you before the ladies show up.”  
His eyes lit up brightly. “Yeah, that sounds like fun.” He bounded off with the cake in hand. “Kyo-chan, we need to call the cooks to bring another cake. This one is pretty but it's small.”  
Soon enough the boys were all in their element. Each preparing their location. Kyoya on his laptop, then his cell phone as he called up Ouran's version of “room service”. Damn rich people, she thought when she listened to the list of demands.. or rather “requests” the host club desired. Cake was on the list, but so were dozens of roses, a case of sweet tarts and assorted chocolate bon-bons (apparently not in the clubs cabinets) and two entirely new tea sets.   
She rolled her eyes and joined her senpai at his table with her teapot and a tray with delicate cream colored tea cups. Carefully, she placed the tray on the table before her. Honey had already started slicing up the two tired cake and selected two pieces to put onto two plates. One for him and one for Mori senpai next to him. Haruhi smiled at them as she poured the tea and handing them both a cup.   
The knock on the club door clued the club into knowing that the guests have arrived. Kyoya cleared his throat. “Well, now. It seems they are early.”  
“Places everyone.” Tamaki called out but no one moved. They were all where they wanted to be to greet their guests. The door opened and they all in one synchronized voice called out, “Welcome.”  
Haruhi tried to hide a smirk when the few guests who arrived caught her eye immediately. They were absolutely curious as to who Haruhi's target of the day would be. She hadn't given them a clue, and no one expected that she would once again focus her energy on Kyoya.   
She watched as the girls went over towards the Shadow King and made their requests. Each went to their favorite host and since Haruhi, Honey and Mori's guests have yet to arrive she decided now was a good time to sit with the elder of the two club mates. They were, she decided, the next target.   
Even though she held just a tiny bit of guilt over this, she wouldn't let it deter her. Her mind worked quickly on this topic. She knew just sitting her and drinking tea wasn't going to help her at all. She knew also that she needed to up her game with these two. The how was what was alluding her.  
Shrugging her shoulders she spoke to Honey, “I guess I could take a small slice of cake.” Her eyes looked over the desert, noting that there really wasn't much in the frosting department. It seemed like it would be a nice treat anyway, and it would be unexpected for her to take some. After all, part of this prank was to be out of her own character. “If you don't mind sharing, that is.” She concluded.  
Honey blinked at her in surprise before nodding in acceptance. “Sure Haru-chan.” He cut a slice and handed it over to her, placing it delicately on the table. She picked up one of the delicate forks and poked at it tentatively.   
The eyes of the surrounding girls glanced in her direction. All were expecting some great joke, something to throw off the small senior boy. Haruhi felt the pressure but she wasn't sure what she should do. The boy lolita type was not something she particularly had experience with. He did love cute stuff but other than that, she was clueless.  
Carefully she took a small piece of the cake and took a bite. She closed her eyes relishing the flavor. It was rather nice, not too sweet. Just sweet enough to make her hum a little. Her cheeks blushed like it normally did when she ate something that agreed with her.  
Mori and Honey were in the midst of enjoying their own slices of cake but stopped mid motion as they both took in the euphoric expression on the female hosts face. Her blush was subtle, her eyes were closed and the sound she made caused a chill to run down their spines.  
Unconsciously she licked her lips slowly savoring the creamy frosting that had remained from her first bite. She tapped her fork into the frosting and brought it up to take a lick from it before she closed her lips around the fork, drawing it out slowly.   
A strangled choke escaped Honey while he watched this. Haruhi's eyes popped open to see that not only were Honey and Mori senpai staring at her, completely in aw and subtle horror, but the entire club was at a stand still. Haruhi was unaware that her action was that provocative until that point but once it registered she smiled at the two sitting in front of her before taking another piece of her cake onto her fork and tantalizingly took a slow bite from it.  
Mori cleared his voice, “Haruhi.” She glanced up at him with the fork still in between her lips. His face had the slightest trace of a blush. She gave him an innocent questioning look which helped add to the rosiness of his cheeks. Attempting to clear his voice again, he continued, “You have frosting on your cheek.”  
Her hand came up to find a slight smear of frosting at the corner of her mouth. No where near her cheek and she grinned. I guess he was too nervous and picked the least tempting feature to describe the location. She flicked her tongue out to capture the remnants, “Thank you senpai.” She said with a giggle. “I forgot how nice it is to have something sweet.”   
Her eyes glanced towards Honey who had the brightest blush but the darkest eyes she had ever seen. He would not remove his gaze and stared her down. As if he was trying to put together a coherent thought. Did she know how seductive she was being, or was that just Haruhi being herself? How could she make cake into something, inappropriate? He just couldn't figure it out.  
An adjoining door creaked open and they eyes of the entire Host Club and the guests diverted their attention in that direction. Surprise was on the menu when the dark shadow of Umihito Nekozawa peered inside. His dark cloak and Beelzenef ever present.   
Tamaki stood up momentarily terrified as the boy came into the room unannounced. The twins eyes drew into frowns and glared. Kyoya and the other two observed with curiosity.  
“Fujioka, Haruhi,” His voice rang out. “A gift to rival the beauty of your soul.” He placed a single black rose on the table before her.   
Then with no more words he vacated the room. Leaving everyone in momentary stunned silence. Then as if on cue all eyes turned to the pink face of Haruhi Fujioka. This was not what she expected as part of her prank. He turned the game up to another level altogether. She couldn't help a small smile from gracing her lips as she returned to eating the cake before her.  
Waiting patiently for his daughters return, Ryoji Fujioka, commonly known as Ranka, had removed his girlish attire. His hair was pulled into a low ponytail and he was wearing sweats and a relatively clean t-shirt. He was in no mood to dress up.  
Several phone calls through out the day from his good friend Kyoya Ootori had him worried. Somehow HIS baby girl learned the fine art of flirting. She was being overly forward and with her finally deciding to dress as a girl this didn't bode to well for her innocence.   
Ranka worried that his baby girl was finally coming around and if that was the case then he really needed to step up as a father to make sure she didn't make a mistake. That why he decided that now was the perfect time for 'The Talk'. Even if she had the talk before from her educational courses. Even if he knew she was already familiar with the biological functions since she had read about them, it still didn't make him feel like she received the full story.  
His nerves were getting the best of him as each minute passed. How was he to go about this? Where to begin? He didn't know. This was something he never intended to do. Ranka never planned to be the one to have to talk about boys. He nearly had a heart attack when she hit the early years of puberty. He begged a female co-worker of his to talk to her, bribed the neighbor to do it and even went out of his way to find a female teacher at her middle school to teach her about the function of the female body.  
The door opened, and the voice of Haruhi rang out her usual greeting. “Hey, Dad I'm home.”   
She kicked off her shoes, brushed the remnants of broken bits of fallen leaves off her skirt and pulled a tiny leaf from her hair. Wincing at the pain those stupid female shoes put her feet through, she stepped onto the floor with relief. She really hated those Mary Janes.  
Once she looked up and saw her father sitting there with a worried expression, clearly not dressed for work, she paused. Something was not right.  
“What's going on?” She asked.  
Ranka pushed down his nerves and looked down into his mug. He had hoped drinking some tea would mellow him out before he had to do this. It didn't work but he went for it anyway.  
“Your friends are worried. I'm worried. We need to have a talk.” He gestured for her to sit down beside him.  
Haruhi grew suspicious and frowned, “Okay” She let the word drag out before following her fathers suggestion to sit beside him.  
“Honey, I don't know what's going on at school but from what I am hearing I think we need to discuss boys. Flirting may be all fun and games but expectations tend to follow and you are not ready.” He had been rehearsing this in his head all day but now the words were just falling without thought.   
“Expectation?” Haruhi blinked in confusion for a moment before her eyes grew wide. “Whoa, dad. You don’t' mean... no. We are not having 'The Talk'.” She put her hands up as if to shield herself from his words. There was no way in hell she was going to start that topic with him.  
“Yes you do. As a girl, you are going to be drawing more attention to yourself. Boys, and i'm not talking about your Host Club friends, these boys are going to be trying to take you out on dates. Places where I can't keep an eye on you.” He continued fervently.   
Haruhi stood up. “No seriously. We do not need to have this conversation.” She paused. I guess now is a good time to tell him. Well, tell him part of the story. There really was no need to go into every detail.  
She sighed before rolling her eyes. “Listen, I'm not going to stay dressed like a girl. I have no intention in dating those 'other boys' and the Host Club is getting a dose of payback. Nothing more.”  
Ranka blinked in surprise at this. His daughter... was dealing payback? Now he was confused.   
“Also, I do not need the talk. I've heard it before.” She shook her head in exasperation. “Seriously, Dad, you couldn't even talk to me about puberty. Do you really think the boy topic was going to go over well? Besides, I think I am smart enough to make my own decisions of whether I do that or not.”  
Her father continued his owl impression until those last few words hit him. He slammed one hand down on the table while the other one went to his eyes. Ranka let out a girlish wail. “You are not old enough to decide that and I never want to hear you say that ever again.”  
Haruhi just rolled her eyes at her fathers antics. Instead of placating him by saying she was not going to say it again, she just patted him on the shoulder and walked to her bedroom. She was ready to get out of the damned dress. Seriously, what made these girls want to wear such tight clothing.  
Before she went to bed that night she did knock on her fathers bedroom door. He was not going out for the night apparently. Her words probably disturbed him too much and knowing how easy he over reacts she probably better smooth things over before he skipped out on work for the rest of the year.  
“Hey dad,” She called out after knocking. A muffled moan called back to her. She sighed, he was upset after all.   
She opened the door and saw her dad just sitting down on the futon. He didn't look entirely upset but he was deep in thought. “Listen, I would appreciate if you didn't tell Kyoya senpai that I'm going to go back to male clothing.”  
Ranka looked at her perplexed. “The boys finally hit your breaking point. This is a prank, isn't it?” He asked. It looked like he spent the entire evening contemplating her reasons and for once, he came to the correct conclusion.  
“Yeah, sort of.” She walked in and sat on the futon next to him. “A few of the girls at school are helping me with the whole 'acting like a girl' stuff.”  
A laugh escaped him, which startled Haruhi. She frowned and smiled, a bit confused by the quick turn of personality and emotion.   
“Give them hell.” He said as he patted her on the back near her shoulder. Haruhi grinned. She really did love her father. Even if he was a bit weird.


	6. Thursday: Day 4 - Repercussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Only for you I don't regret That I was Thursday's Child" - David Bowie  
>  (It's kind of a stretch, I know)

One day they will look back on this joke and think about what their torture could lead to. The twins would think twice about pulling her into a mock threesome. Tamaki would hesitate the next time he tried to make her shiver with a few sweet words in her ear. Kyoya wouldn't be so quick to add to her debt. They all would most certainly think twice about putting her in girly clothing.

Or at least this is what Haruhi hoped would happen. 

Ranka had been more than helpful that morning. He smiled when his daughter walked into the living room wearing yet another yellow uniform. Her face had the lightest sheen of foundation on along with some clear lip gloss. Although to him it wasn't enough. Being as fashion forward as he liked to think he was, Ranka had forced his daughter to sit before him as he applied eye liner from his own makeup kit. Quickly it was followed by a pale cream colored eye shadow with just a hint of darker brown eye shadow to make her eyes sultry.

Haruhi knew her dad didn't approve of dating. Nor did he like the idea of a boy looking at her as if she was a bit of fun on a Saturday night. It was lucky for her that this was Thursday and soon enough this whole scheme would come to an end.

After her father had dropped her off in front of the gates of Ouran Academy, Haruhi made her way down the halls heading to her first class. The walk was quiet today with very few students seeking her out but those that she did run across smiled at her appreciatively. 

She went in to class 1-A and sat in her assigned seat in between the Hitachiins. They had not arrived yet and was surprised to see another black rose upon her desk. Nekozawa senpai must have left it there prior to her arrival. She picked it up and gave it a look over avoiding the thorns that were still attached.

The back of her neck bristled as she felt someone watching her. Her eyes snapped to the doorway where she meet the steely gaze of the Hitachiin twins. Their eyes were glued on the flower in her hand. Her fingers were unconsciously touching the soft petals while she wondered exactly how did a rose get this color in the first place. It was safe to say they were not happy about that gift.

They were not going to be especially happy today in general. The girls had planned for their friend to buy her lunch. She didn't know who it would be and in a way it was probably for the best. Her surprise would be genuine. 

Umihito Nekozawa was also going to be pursuing her in a romantic sense. This was another thing she wasn't sure about. They were supposed to run into each other during the day prior to club activities exactly when that was, she didn't know. Nor did she know what he was supposed to say or do with her. Other than a few hello's and surprise gifts she didn't know what exactly this portion of the prank was going to entail. 

Hikaru and Kaoru sat beside her during class as was their usual. Focus was once again diverted with each glance in her direction. The entire class was just as unfocused. They were all keeping their ears open for a new joke. Something to occupy their time since apparently rich kids had so much free time and no consideration for their grade.

They were given instruction to read the chapter of their history books on the Industrial Revolution of Japan. Her eye glazed the page, it was lucky for her that she took initiative to read this section before.

The professor walked up and down the rows then back to his desk. It wasn't too long until she heard him call out her name. “Fujioka, it appears that the Chairman wishes to speak with you.”

Her eyes glanced up from the text she attempted to immerse herself in to see that a fellow student was standing with her instructor. He held a note in his hands and was eyeing her expectantly. The student beside him had her hands crossed in front of her with one foot toeing the ground. She looked a tad embarrassed. 

The feeling of dread soon filled her tummy. Like a rock dropped into a pool, she felt her confidence sink. What on earth did the Chairman of the school want with her?

As if mirroring her thoughts the twins glanced her way, concern evident in their faces. They watched as she packed her book into her beaten worn leather bag and followed the courier out of the class. Once out of the class they boys looked back at each other. Simultaneously, they pulled their cell phones out of their pockets and texted “Boss, what is your dad up to?” (Kaoru), “What the hell does your dad want with Haruhi?” (Hikaru).

 

Chairman Yuzuru Suoh was a reasonable man. A bit on the dramatic side like his son but still reasonable. He obviously heard about the prank and Haruhi only hoped he wasn't going to do something drastic.

By drastic, she wasn't even sure what he would or even could do but her mind ran through several scenarios where he pretty much set things straight. Worst case scenario was that she had to stay dressed in the female uniform.

Tentatively she opened the large wooden doors leading to the Chairmans office. She saw him sitting behind the desk occupied by paperwork, but his eyes snapped up quickly when the she stepped inside.

“Ah Miss Fujioka. It's a pleasure to see you dressed up to visit me.” He grinned at her. “I daresay, I understand my son's concern. You are a lovely sight to behold.”

Haruhi felt her cheeks blush at the compliment while muttering “Thank you.”

“Please, please have a seat” Yuzuru gestured to the chair before his desk. She complied and set her bag beside the chair before crossing her hands in her lap. She waited patiently for him to put his papers off to the side and cleared his throat.

“My son has expressed concern over your state of dress. He seems to find it inappropriate considering you were passing yourself off as a male student.” He smiled kindly at her. “I personally think he is over reacting. You look as angelic as any of our female students in this uniform. Possibly more so.”

He tilted his head as he watched her cheeks flush a rosy color. Even now he was pleased at his ability to flatter ladies, especially ones who were so important to his family. This girl was important. She was clever, resourceful and his son was head over heels for her. He had no doubts that this intelligent common girl was going to become someone extraordinary. 

Yuzuru prides himself on his sense of romance and his sense of humor. So much so that he was intrigued by the scheme this girl put together with the help of the entire student populace. Haruhi Fujioka impressed him.

“I do however need to have a word with you about your activities of late.” He said in all seriousness.

“Sir?” She gave him a questioning look. Her mind unable to compute what indeed was happening at that moment.

“Allowing the student's of Ouran to become unfocused on their school work. Provoking the Host Club with possible repercussions of a physical altercation between them and other male students of the school. Even blatantly falsifying your gender once again to the masses.” He paused to give her a stern look. “All of this can fall under the classification of disruption of peace.”

Haruhi felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Her heart beating picking up the pace as that rock made a reappearance in her stomach. She knew full well the school policy. She knew the penalties, she knew the limitations but she had not considered this prank as a whole to be a disruption. 

The chairman noticed the girl blanch at the revelation. Yes, she was a smart girl. Not many students would know the punishments entailed by the school policy. Any other student would sit there blank and uncertain. Haruhi Fujioka was certain.

“You know the penalty for disruption of the peace?” He asked confirming his assessment.

She nodded slowly, taking in a shaky breath. “Suspension. Possibility of expulsion or ...”

“- or in your case, loss of scholarship” He finished for her.

Haruhi's fear escalated. Her mouth flapped with out any words following since she herself had no words to express herself at that moment. She couldn't even find it in her to beg forgiveness. She wouldn't even know where to begin.

Yuzuru raised a hand to pause Haruhi in her distress. “Be calm, Miss Fujioka. I do not plan on doing any such thing.”

Her mind took a moment to comprehend what he had just said. “Sir, I didn't think.. I didn't..”

“I happen to find this very entertaining. I would give anything to have the ability to fluster my son the way you have. But alas, I am not a pretty female student so that skill is left entirely up to you.”

Haruhi blinked in surprise. This was not what she expected. Certainly not after he reminded her that disturbing the student body as she had would lead to her no longer being able to attend the Academy. 

He left his chair and walked around his desk towards his office door while with one hand he gestured to Haruhi to follow him. She did, picking up her bag from beside the chair and tentatively taking steps in his direction.

“I wanted to remind you of the policy, this is true. But I also want you to know that this bit of fun you are having is not going to lead to your expulsion. Not this time. Just don't allow the boys to get into a fist fight. It would not do to damage the faces of my son or his friends.”

Her eyes found his. Formerly they were full of mirth and mischief with a touch of flirtatiousness but now they took on a fatherly feel. He smiled down on her with all the affection of a gentleman. 

“I think that this conversation would be best left in between us. Let the Host Club believe you are in trouble. This is my participation in the prank. They can make what they will of this summons. Let their imaginations run away.” His features had returned to it's original mischievous knowing smirk. “Oh and give my regards to your father. His call this morning was very informative and to reiterate his sentiment, 'give them hell'.”

With that last bit of encouragement, Yuzuru nudged her out the door and closed it behind her.

Standing there exposed to the eyes of the secretary, she found self walking down the hall back to her class. “Well, that was unexpected.” She mumbled to herself.

 

Once she arrived back at class the instructor had dismissed them for a break. Hikaru and Kaoru were on her like flies. 

“What happened?” Hikaru blurted. 

“Are you in trouble?” Kaoru asked at the same time.

They both were concerned, scared and, there was was something else in their features that she couldn't quite place. One thing was obvious. They way they were hovering over her, they really thought something bad had happened.

She looked down, away from them. Not giving them any information. Like the chairman said, “Let their imaginations run away.” They probably are coming up with a multitude of scenarios the same as she had.

“Are you suspended?” Kaoru asked, but she gave nothing to indicate that was truth or false.

“Are you staying a girl?” Hikaru demanded.

“Are you going back to the boys uniform?” 

“He better not have expelled you.” 

“Why aren't you talking?” Kaoru asked shaken. Hikaru looked to his brother. That tone disturbed him and realizing what he said, he too wanted to know. Haruhi was not talking. That was a bad sign. It had to be.

Neither of them got a response from her as they sat in the classroom in trio position. The two on either side of her exchanging glances of concern. This week could not get any worse to them. Or at least that was what they thought.

Class resumed, Haruhi didn't flirt. That terrified them both to no end. So when lunch came around they were grateful to at least begin their non stop ramble. They tried, whine and begged her to tell them what happened but she remained stoic. 

Inside however she was amazed at how deep their thoughts ran. They still have not stopped with the possible scenarios. They wouldn't stop, and they were not alone because once they entered the refectory for the fourth time this week, Tamaki joined in on the speculation.

He felt terribly guilty for contacting his father in the first place. What did he do to make his Haruhi so quiet? What did he say to make her not want to talk with them?

She didn't respond positive or negative to any of their claims so they ended up started right back at the beginning.

Kyoya came to sit at the table with them all. “Will you all shut up. If Haruhi was expelled or suspended she would tell us so.”

He nailed it. Damn. She was hoping the fluster and frustration would continue a little longer. Oh well, the day was not over yet and now that lunch began her eyes scanned the room.

A very tall, athletic looking boy was coming over to their table. “Hey Fujioka” he called out to her. “I got something for you.”

She blinked in mock surprise and stood up. She didn't say anything to the Host Club as they followed her direction. Kyoya's eyes glowered. She was talking to his rival, Kuze. The rest of the club didn't seem to be thrilled by this turn in events either. 

“What's up?” Haruhi asked.

“The girls wanted me to buy you lunch. Still up for it?” He shrugged and glanced back at the Host Club's table. His eye locked with Kyoya and he tossed a smirk in his direction. “Ootori looks pissed.”

Haruhi looked back and noted. Indeed, he was angry. His eyes were smoldering with distrust and his fist was balled up. Everything at that table was tense. Perhaps this was taking a step too far.

“Oh shit, Hitachiin really looks pissed.” He chuckled. “I didn't think the Host Club would ever get that possessive over another dude. They are really buying this shit about you being a girl?”

Haruhi shrugged. “They won't deny it, they won't confirm it. They are gonna believe what they want.”

“Yeah but still, I thought they were all gay before. Now this is just too funny.” He laughed again. “Well then Fujioka. If you still want that lunch I am more than up for it.” He pulled an orange out of his pocket. At least she hopes that was where it came from. He smelled it and handed it to her. 

“Err... thanks” She muttered uncertain of what actually to say. 

The orange was quickly snatched out of her hand by a dark shadow. Or at least that was how it looked. Her head snapped left then right only to find the cloaked figure of Nekozawa standing beside her. 

“I beg pardon, Kuze. However Haruhi will be joining me this afternoon.” He handed back the fruit and guided Haruhi away from the cafeteria. 

The Host Club just sat there. Stunned as they watched the Black Magic Club president wander off with their Haruhi.

 

“Nekozawa senpai?” Haruhi questioned. “Don't you think it's a little early to be pulling me out of the lunch room like that?”

The dark figure beside her chuckled. “Don't you know anything about romance, Haruhi Fujioka?”

Right on the nose, she thought. No she didn't. She knew when people were deeply in love like her parents that it was special. She knew that it was also rare to find such a quality and never did she think it was something she would have to deal with until she was done with school.

“They will seek you out.” He continued. “If any of the Host Club has any inclination of romance they will be near to interrupting us any moment which leads me to this.” He took her head in his hands. Gently tilting her face up to him. He bend down and placed a kiss on her lips.

Of course, the moment he had Haruhi pulled away stunned. Pure shock riddled her features as his eyebrows raised. 

A sly smile drew on his lips. It grew into a smirk while he continued to cradle her neck, his fingers pressing gently into her skull. Then he let out a deep laugh.

It was then that the Host Club burst through the door. Stopping just short at they took in the position Haruhi was in. Her arm hands placed on the crook of Nekozawa's elbows, his hands still holding her head while his thumbs caressed her jawline. 

And worst of all the deepest red blush that the club has ever seen on her face. Along with terror in her eyes. 

Tamaki shouted, “Get your hands off of her!”

The two sprang apart, startled by the volume of his command. Nekozawa grinned at the Host Club then back down to Haruhi. He bowed to her as he quickly kissed her hand before disappearing into the shadows. 

The twins were so enraged that they hesitated before attempting to chase the man who apparently violated their Haruhi. Honey and Mori stood back, shocked at the events before them while Tamaki whisked Haruhi into his arms. Kyoya studied her.

“Haruhi.” He asked as calmly as he could. “Did Nekozawa senpai just kiss you?”

Part of him hoped that Haruhi wouldn't say anything, that she would revert to her silent, don't ask don't tell, personality from earlier that lunch hour. 

However luck was not on his side as she cleared her throat and nodding while she said, “Yeah. He did.”

Tamaki crushed her body into his while he wailed. “HE'S CURSED YOU, HE'S CURSED YOU!” 

She was too stunned to even move out of Tamaki's death grip. She didn't know what to think because the way he looked at her. Haruhi was certain, Nekozawa new the truth.

 

Classes commenced as usual. The twins glared ever few seconds in her direction but said nothing as they were still fuming that they didn't catch up to Nekozawa. They had no idea where he went. Probably back to his dungeon somewhere.

He could stay there for all they cared. Curses or not, they weren't scared of him. Besides they have flash lights. They could also just steal that damn cloak from him and make him stand in direct sunlight after what he did to Haruhi. 

He kissed her. That bastard kissed her. He fricken kissed her. 

Hikaru was ready to deal the death blow and if it wasn't for the more logical mind of his twin they would have searched the halls all day just to give him the beat down that he deserved.

What's worse, Haruhi didn't seem bothered. She was flushed but she wasn't bothered by it. Like she had no idea what it meant. He kissed her.

They hovered over her protectively as they walked down the halls heading towards their club room. It was getting to the point that they were near to squishing her in between them. 

“Guys.” She snapped when they pressed into her again. One of each of their arms firmly placed on her shoulder. “Guys!” She snapped again pushing against them. “You're squishing me.”

Hikaru growled. “What do you expect? They way you have been throwing yourself around the boys at this school, you are getting way too much attention.”

“Seriously Haruhi. Nekozawa violated you. You should be more careful. Being a girl isn't easy.”

“Really? You guys are going to tell me how hard it is to be a girl?” She snapped at them, tossing a well placed glare in their direction. “For your information I've been one my whole life. I think I know what it's like.”

The twins stopped in their tracks allowing Haruhi to get a few steps ahead of them before coming to their senses and following her again. 

“I swear,” Hikaru continued to mutter, “If he touches you again.”

Haruhi shouldn't be surprised by the anger in his voice. It's been like this for a while now but still, she couldn’t believe how far they were taking such a simple action. All week long she flirted with them, teased them and pushed the boundaries with talking to boys who seemed to have an interest but one kiss and now they were on the hunt for blood. “He isn't going to hurt me. Don't you dare start a fight.”

Kaoru took up the argument. “He is the one starting it!”

She shook her head, “No he didn't.” 

Nekozawa didn't start this. If she wasn't careful, he would be able to start something else. All she knew was right now she needed to talk with the elder classmate. Extracting herself from the Host Club was damn near impossible but she had to try.

“Guys, I gotta go. I'll meet you in the club.” She tried.

“Not a chance. The boss will kill us if we don't arrive with you.” Kaoru commented.

Hikaru rolled his eyes “Nice try, Haruhi. You are not leaving our sight.”

Together they linked their arms with hers and hauled her off to the third music room. Her feet barely even touched the floor and she was sure that she would have been grateful to be off those damn shoes if she wasn't freaked out by the new level of over protective that the Host Club apparently adopted. 

She couldn't find any chance to leave the room. Kyoya kept her busy with menial tasks until her guests arrived. Once they left she was back to making tea or delivering pastries and cakes to guests.

It was obvious that they didn't want her talking to boys when the few the arrived to be 'hosted' by her were sent out with an excuse that she was not allowed to entertain them.

All she could think was, thank god there was only one more day of this joke. They were going to be feeling like idiots when the realize exactly how possessive they were being. She hoped that they would regret their actions and give her space. That really was all she wanted and now that this prank had escalated she wasn't sure if that was even her goal anymore. She didn't know what motivated her anymore. One more day. She would see this through. 

Now if only she could find Nekozawa.


	7. Friday: The Fun Never Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's Finally Friday, I'm free again" - George Jones  
> "It's a Friday, we finally made it" - John Mayer

Friday morning couldn't come soon enough for Haruhi. She was eager to get back to school work and was completely over proving her point to her fellow club mates. Not to mention she was sick of the girly shoes that had left such lovely blisters on her toes. 

Currently she was eyeing said toes. Tenderly touching the pinky with it's slight bubble. Under her large toe she knew the blister there was much worse. She sighed and reached over to the table on her bedside opening the drawer to find a small emergency kit with a few bandaids for occasions such as these. A bandage was placed over each bubble-like area before she decided to slide the white stockings over her feet and on up.

She grimaced when her feet touched the floor and eyed the yellow dress hanging on a hook over her door. She gave it a slight glare before rolling her eyes and pulling it down. Even this unimpressive uniform was starting to loose it's appeal. Seriously how did those Ouran girls stand such a tortuous garment. Sure, beggars can be choosers and had Kyoya originally provided her with this uniform she would have accepted it but being in the male uniform for so long had her feeling just a bit uncomfortable in this yellow monstrosity. More than a little, the uniform annoyed the crap out of her.

She sighed, and slipped the dress over her slight female form with only her silken chemise underneath to cover her bra.

“Haruhi, Sweetie! The oven timer went off. Where shall I put your baked goodies?” Ranka trilled out from the apartment kitchen.

Haruhi bit her lip before responding. This idea was not something she herself would have concocted. Ranka insisted that brownies would make for a very nice treat for the boys. In other words, he thought the idea of Haruhi made brownies would cause more than a few faces to flush over the domestication of it all.

“Just turn the oven off.” She shouted before finishing her work with the yellow dress. Once in place she glanced in the mirror and stared at herself. Yup, this was definitely the last day she would act so girly. This just wasn't her. Besides, it took way to long to get ready for school.

“Don't forget to let daddy do your makeup!” He sounded off. “I want my baby to look especially beautiful if she is never going to dress up again in that lovely uniform.”

She scoffed. Lovely, right. If Ranka wasn't already a pro in high heels and corsets than she would offer the torture device to him for a week to see how long he would last. Rolling her eyes in an effort to erase the mental image of her father twirling around in the Ouran female uniform with a school girl giggle on his lips, she picked up her book bag and headed out to the living room. 

Her father was not kidding, he had makeup all over the table. “I don't really have time for that.” She looked at the table wary of her dads attention.

Ranka practically sulked with rejection for a brief moment before Haruhi sighed and said. “Oh alright fine.” 

A brief moment passed before her father's face brightened up, turning once again back to his normally perky flamboyant self. He began picking up foundations and blushes, holding the different powder packs to her face to gauge which shade would look best for this days final chapter.

 

Her dress swished back and forth as she tried to hide her wobble but the whole effect nearly caused Tamaki's brain to implode. How many times had he wanted to see just this. The girl he was spying on was still once again in that adorable uniform. True, this was a dream come true. However it also turned into a nightmare he just could not wake up from.

Haruhi skipped a step, stumbling over a small stone in the rode but he didn't notice. All he saw was the skip and his heart thumped. Was she holding a plastic food container? He heard commoners would bring plastic food containers around with them if they were bringing in a treat to share.

The question is... Who was she sharing the treat with? 

His face picked up a pink tone when a vision of Haruhi beaming at him while holding a little box of cookies out to him. “Here Senpai. I made these just for you.”

Tamaki pressed on hand to the glass of the second floor window while his other went to cover his mouth. He tried so hard to suppress the blush, he just didn't have the capacity to do it. 

All his life he was used to women blushing over him. He was, after all, a creature of beauty. A simple glance, a touch, a whisper and girls were putty in his hands. Expect of course Haruhi.

He did all these things to her. Though he was unsure exactly why he did. Maybe it was to see if even a commoner would enjoy his presence. The old ladies at her home appreciated him, even the local school children who lived in her complex seemed to enjoy him. So maybe it wasn't because she was a commoner. Perhaps there was another reason. 

Either way, her sudden change both thrilled and terrified him. 

He watched her enter the building before hearing the clearing of a voice behind him. Kyoya, of course. His best friend was eyeing him, knowing full well by the blush on Tamaki's face that his friend spied the one girl who turned their world upside down within just a single week.

He for one was not looking forward to another lunch time display. He was not thrilled by Ranka's attitude about Haruhi's flirtatiousness these last couple days. Somehow Haruhi had gotten through to him and that did not sit well with Kyoya at all. 

Ranka was the last playing card he had left. Nothing he could do now was going to work against Haruhi. Not even raising her debt. That would only fuel the male populace to have a reason to attend the club if they knew she needed a quota of guests. It still surprised him that Haruhi had made such a dent in her debt with her newfound popularity. 

Sales of Haruhi merchandise was skyrocketing more than he would have figured now that the school views her as a female. These factors were not adding up to him. That's probably what annoyed and attracted him the most to her. He would be damned however to admit it to her- or anyone.

Down the hall, nearing the floor which held Class 1-A, Haruhi was lost in her thoughts. Which is why she let out a sudden yell when a hand reached out of an empty class room and yanked her in by the elbow.

“What the hell!?” She cried out as she nearly fell into the room. Her eyes took in her surroundings to meet the expectant faces of Renge, Momoka, Kimiko, and Ruri. All the girls were well known as her usual customers. Each one looked like they were desperate to ask something. Each look, however, made Haruhi's skin crawl.

“Alright Haruhi!” Renge's demanding voice dominated the room. She spun around and placed her finger to her lips. “Today is the day! We hit them and we hit them hard. Those boys will not know which way is up or which way is down. To do this we need to get you fitted for a brand new cosplay.”

Haruhi's blood dropped. No way in hell. Today was not an official cosplay day. She would have heard about it from Tamaki or even Kyoya. Mostly Tamaki since dressing up is one of his favorite pastimes.

“As manager of the Host Club, It's my decision that we allow the male populace to join in on the activities today. Which means YOU, Haruhi Fujioka, will be wearing THIS!”

She spun around again and pulled out a lavish old western saloon girl outfit. Although to Haruhi it would look like something out of a brothel if it weren’t for the colors.

“No way in Hell, am I wearing that!” She practically screamed as she tried to leave the room only to be blocked by Ruri and Kimiko.

Renge tossed the dress over to Momoka who practically squealed with glee. Haruhi took several steps back, trying to avoid Renge but to no avail. The girl grabbed her by the wrists and pulled her forward while the other two girls came up from behind.

“Stop fussing Haruhi, it's not like you have anything to hide.” Renge chastised.

Haruhi's face lost all color as she felt the hands of one of the girls behind her starting on the zipper of her yellow dress. 

Her heart was beating erratically while the others giggled. No doubt finally excited about seeing their favorite hosts “manly chest”. All time stopped when she thought, This is it. This is how they are going to find out. 

Haruhi let out one final shout of , “Guys, please. Stop!” when the door opened and all four girls gasped in horror. Thinking that they finally got caught. Relief filled their faces at the same time Haruhi lost the hope she suddenly regained when they saw Umihito Nekozawa at the door.

“Perfect Nekozawa Senpai is here!” Cried Kimiko. 

“Hold him still for us.” Ruri chimed. “He's strong for his size. We thought for sure we both could hold him still.” She giggled.

Haruhi's eyes locked with his and he grinned. Shit, she thought.

Nekozawa reached out for the costume in Momoka's hands. “Today's outfit, I presume?”

The girls giggled and nodded. He chuckled darkly. “I don't think there is a need to do costumes today. Besides, how would a male student be able to fill the top portion of this garment? It would not do.”

Collective sighed and “oh darns” were heard from each of the girls. Renge shrugged. “It was worth a shot. Come on girls. Lets go get front row seats to the Twin torture act. See you in class Haruhi!” She sang out while she and the others ushered out of the room leaving the two “male” students alone.

Haruhi let out a relived sigh. “Thank you Senpai”

“It was nothing.” He smiled. “Though I admire your composure.”

Her eyes went up to his. She noted the hint of amusement there and true to her blunt nature asked. “So you know then?”

“An amazing thing the human body can be.” He began. “Gender can easily be detected in many ways even by one who is androgynous such as yourself.” 

Nekozawa adjusted his cloak around his body and before stepping into the hall finished with, “The human skull is a fantastic indicator of such things. Do not worry. I will keep my conclusion to myself.”

The chuckle he let out turned into an ominous guffaw only let out by cartoon villains. Though it severed his character well enough. She shivered. 

“Now that was creepy.” She muttered before adjusting her dress and picking up her bag and container of brownies that survived the onslaught of frisky Ouran Academy girls. Bringing her further to her conclusion that girls at this school were just plain weird. 

 

“What the hell is up with the girls today?” Hikaru asked Kaoru as they walked into class. Each one looking around noticing all the faces seem to turn bright pink every time they caught their eye. 

“Beats me.” Kaoru replied. They headed to their seats and looked down at the empty one in between them. “I'm still not used to it.”

Hikaru huffed and leaned back into his seat. “Me neither.”

The boys let a moment of silence pass as they observed the class. For some reason their classmates were unnaturally silent. A few glance back towards them. Even Renge, who would normally be gushing about the latest developments in her romantic pairings, be it fandom or reality, was slowly “reading” her text book. That made Kaoru frown, when did Renge put effort into her studies?

Something was up and it's been going on all week. Today was just weirder than usual.

The opening of the classroom door sounded loud with all this lack of activity and the twins were seriously grateful to see their friend finally arrive to class. Even if they were still a little perturbed by her choice of clothing.

“Hey,” She said. Completely natural in her tone as if nothing was wrong or weird. 

“Hey,” They both responded with uncertainty in their own voices. Their nerves were evident. Even if they wanted to hide it she would notice. 

Their eyes were glued to her as she settled down into her seat, crossing her ankles and pulling out a notebook and pencil. Nothing in her movements were out of the ordinary. However her smile at them was still unsettling. How could she be so damn calm like this?

“Are you wearing makeup?” Kaoru asked suddenly. 

“You're right. It's too dark.” Hikaru rolled his eyes. “You should just go back to boys clothes.”

Finally, Haruhi thought. Hikaru was finally dropping into his rude self. This was something she could work with. It was interesting to see him flush and fumble all week but seeing Hikaru go back to his tried and true method was something she would have expected to happen sooner.

“I asked my dad to help me. Maybe I should have just asked you two instead.” She smirked at him only to be rewarded with an involuntary flinch. 

Kaoru sighed for what felt like the billionth time this week. “Seriously Haruhi. You should just go back to the way you dressed before. This is just... weird”

For a brief moment, Haruhi paused. She glanced at either side of her taking in their desperation and then let her eyes travel around the room to all the students who were pretending not to be listening. Boy were they failing miserably. Those girls were being too obvious- wait, does Renge have a camera under her desk!

Blinking quickly she shook her head and let out a nervous giggle. “What's so weird? You were always putting me into dresses before?”

Haruhi was mentally baffled by the obvious camera. Regardless, she knew that her fumbled response was weak. After a week of being snappy with come backs, flirts and retaliations.. it seemed like she was finally running out of steam. 

The twins shared a glance. Both of them sensed the fumble and glanced back down to the girl between them. 

Her hands quickly left their position on her desk to grasp at the fabric of her skirt to hide the nerves that were starting to display themselves. Only to have her drop her mechanical pencil.

She muttered a swear, and leaned over the exact same time Kaoru had reached under his desk to retrieve the thing for her. Their heads collided and both swore before they looked at each other, mere millimeters apart. A simultaneous blush appeared across their faces when they realized how close they were but neither moved. Haruhi looked into his eyes watching the reaction her closeness was having.

Kaoru's face burned. His nose was almost touching hers when Hikaru started to laugh. The younger twin sat back into his seat faster than if someone had put an ice down his shirt. Haruhi on the other hand reached back down to grab the stray pencil. She took mental note of how she had enticed such a reaction out of Kaoru. Not only that but the level of intensity he had when he stared at her. If it hadn't been for Hikaru's laugh at them for nailing their heads together, who knew what Kaoru would have done? Who knew what she would have done? That right there was a scary thought.

Hikaru was still laughing over their headbutt when the teacher arrived in class. He probably would have continued if Haruhi hadn't glanced his way. He would have probably still found it amusing if it wasn't for the way she brushed her hair behind her ear and smirked his way. 

The only thing on his mind at that point was whether or not Haruhi just flirted with him. It was subtle and not completely unlike what had been happening all week but for some reason, he felt that one was just for him. Great so much for focusing on class. He thought to himself.

Haruhi would never know that thought, nor would she know that the other side was stuck on whether or not Haruhi would have kissed him.

 

Haru-chan was a good girl. Haru-chan wouldn't act rashly and start dating the first guy who hit on her. Nor would she date the first guy to tried to kiss her. 

These were the thoughts that ran through Mistukuni Haninozuka's mind. He battled with his dark self so much this week. Those dark thoughts that made him want to protect her from boys, the dark thoughts that wanted to keep her to himself and the extremely dark thoughts... that he would never admit out loud. Such things would not do for his character.

He continued to rationalize that the sweet Haruhi that he knew and cared for was just as oblivious as she had always been. She didn't know she was alluring. She wouldn't deliberately flirt and break her character. She was a good girl.

“Mistukuni” The clear deep voice of his cousin broke through his thoughts. “You broke it.”

Honey glanced down at the pencil in his fingers, which he noted had been snapped in half. He frowned and let go of it letting the pieced drop to his desk. 

“Sorry, Takashi.” He nearly whispered. Slightly ashamed that he let his strength take over his body while his mind was otherwise occupied.

Mori blinked slowly and nodded once. It was all Honey needed. He knew his cousin well enough to understand him. No words necessary but it was nice when he did talk. Right now, he needed him to talk. It was too bad that Mori's talkative nature only ever rose to the occasion when he was beyond sleepy. 

It was just lucky for him that Mori knew Honey just as well. He reached over from his desk and patted Honey on the head. “We will go early. I will skip Kendo”

A slow grin appeared across Honey's face. “Yeah, That sounds good.”  
–

The twins felt like they were in the middle of a furnace. They could not keep their faces from the red that rivaled their family heritage. They lost it. Officially and completely lost it. No thanks especially to Renge and her big mouth.

Free study hour was left unattended which on a normal day would bring round of laughter and a series of frivolous conversations. Along with the occasional game. Today would have been just the same, if it were not for the suggestion of that crazy otaku.

Momoka had turned to the twins and asked them if they minded playing the “Which one is Hikaru” game. Kaoru didn't say anything as he for once was actually using the study time as it was meant to be used. Hikaru, who still hadn't stopped stealing glances at Haruhi all week long, shrugged and said sure. It was better than being bored after all.

He was the one who teased first, a semblance of his old self returning. “No cheating, ladies. Haruhi is disqualified since she knows us all too well.” He smirked but lost it when her eyes locked on his. Her eyes looked almost sultry with that makeup. Despite what he said about it being too much, it really wasn't. It was just too good. Still he dropped it and turned his charm back on. “Ready Kaoru?” He asked as they continued a few rounds of the game. In which everyone was wrong.

That's when she did it. That was when Renge threw out her hysterical giggle and practically whined when she said “It's no fair without Haruhi. How about we give her a handicap.” She pulled out a silken scarf from seemingly nowhere. “How about it Haruhi? Wanna play?”

Taken aback for just a brief moment, Haruhi smiled in an attempt to stop her eyes from rolling at the mere suggestion presented to her. She stood up, brushed the skirt of her yellow dress and reached out for the blindfold. 

The boys fell into shock. No words, not a single protest escaped them while they watched Haruhi place the blindfold on, allowing the class president Sugo Kazukiyo to tie it. He chuckled at the idea of knowing full well that this was just so very wrong in so many ways.

The girls all clapped and squealed, they grabbed ahold of the twins and forced them to move around and placed them right in front of Haruhi.

Reaching out to find the fabric of their jackets, she tentatively bit her lip. This was unusual. Sure she knew how to tell them apart by the way they acted and talked. She was pretty sure she knew them based on posture and sure, there were subtle differences since even identical twins had some features that didn't match perfectly. Blindfolded, this was new territory.

Her hand went up the arm on the twin to the right of her, feeling the tension her touch had inflicted on the boy. Based on where she was standing she knew she faced them and she knew she was touching the right twins left arm. Her other hand must be holding the left of the others. Those fingers were stiff and would not close around her grasp. She ended up dropping it and worked both hands on the one boy. Both hands rising up the arms, to his chest, up his neck and then grasping his jawline. 

She couldn't figure it out quite yet. So she leaned closer pulling his face down and attempted to listen to his voice, hoping he would make a noise of any kind. She was unsuccessful as all she ended up doing was causing his breath to catch. 

Nothing. She ended up letting him go. Once released he sighed and she tried to catch it based on sound alone, but no such luck.

Her hands then traveled over and found the other twin who quickly tensed every muscle in his body, unable to let her move his arms or anything for that matter. She had to raise herself on tip toe to get near his face. 

She didn't hear his voice but she did hear the collective gasps and suppressed giggles of the other students. Something must be happening and it was just too bad she couldn't see it. She could however feel it. The boys were never this tense with her. Well maybe not, there was that one time she found herself trapped with Hikaru in a net and even then he held himself rather still and unyielding. 

After a few moments, based on what she knew of the boys, she was pretty sure who she was touching.

The stiff posture didn't move so she tugged down on him a little harder to guide his face just mere breathes away from her. Her nose touched his and she let a sly grin grace her lips as she said, “You are Hikaru.”

A loud cry of surprised erupted from the twin in her hands while he jerked away from her touch. The class cheered her success for the short time allowed before the teacher walked in. His arrival did nothing to dissuade the cheers but it did cue the class that it was time once again to return to their seats.

She pulled the blindfold off just in time to see the look of complete mortification at what had just happened on the boys faces, before they turned away and headed back to their seats. Unable to meet her eyes for the next few hours. 

They still didn't look at her when the classes ended and they all headed out for their lunch hour. 

Haruhi was actually content with the silence and the fact that the two didn't seem to want to hang over her shoulder like they normally would. She knew this wouldn't last, especially when they found out that this whole weeks worth of torture was nothing more than revenge. A mere joke, that would have been something they themselves would have concocted. A prank that if they were not the target they would have cheered her along. It made her curious and a little anxious to get to the end of the day. What would they really say? How would they treat her after all of this?

Her smile slide away when she saw the angry look on Honey's face when they meet the Host Club at their lunch table.

 

“Did I miss something?” She asked sitting down with the group, her bento firmly in hand. The group looked at her clearly troubled by something. 

Clearing his voice, Kyoya received her full attention. “I appears that we have been petitioned by several male students to allow them to join the Host Club activities for the day.” He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and openly stared at her. “They requested to sit with you.”

“Oh” was all she could say to that. She didn't sound thrilled, scared, excited or pretty much anything for that matter. She just accepted it and that was probably what irritated them the most. 

“You're allowing it?” Hikaru asked clearly annoyed.

Kyoya shrugged, “Originally, No. However Renge made a point earlier when I received the requests. She seems to think that allowing these boys to enter the club it will increase the female guest count if they believe that Haruhi has found a love interest.”

Tamaki spit up the soup he had just sipped. “No way! Haruhi does not have a love interest. That's not allowed, I will not allow it.” He threw his arms around her since she had chosen this day to finally sit beside him.

“Be that as it may, Renge has a point. Our profit margins will increase as they have been all week. For some reason Haruhi, your products have been selling rather well considering.”

She took a bite out of her lunch, chewed and swallowed while she tapped her lips with her chop sticks “So what you are saying is that you want me to entertain these boys.”

The boys all glanced between each other in silent protest, and open curiosity at what their Shadow King would decree. Even her own scrutiny had him feeling uncomfortable about the next words. He despised relinquishing control so he sighed and said “You will entertain the guests as you would any other.”

 

“Here is what I don’t' understand.” Haruhi spoke to the twins on their way to the third music room. They held their hands in their pockets and flanked her sides at the three walked together. “What is the point in wearing a corset underneath a dress when the dress can be compensated by wearing a tutu thing underneath.”

They stopped and looked down at the girl between them. Did she just ask them a fashion question? 

“Well..?” she asked pausing to look at them. Her eyes blinked slowly when she was genuinely curious and the two could not help but think about how cute she was.

Kaoru was able to break free of the spell first. “It's called a petticoat, not a tutu. And the point is to accentuate the figure. Cinching the waist helps with posture as well as give the illusion of a tiny waist. Why?”

She shrugged. The history book as these photos of women with the life being sucked out of them and wondered if those things were really necessary. Her father wore one on occasion but she never really put too much thought into it's purpose. 

Even though it was an innocent question it made them wonder at why it even came up in the first place but they didn’t' get a chance to ask because the club doors opened and the trio stood there stunned at the activity inside.

There were more girls than usual and even a few boys milling around the room. Haruhi stood shocked. Was this all because of the prank? What did Renge do?

Hikaru and Kaoru wandered over to their usual table tossing concerned glances around the room and towards all the other club members.

Given no other option she found herself heading towards the table that her usual guests claimed. Upon seeing her arrive they all beamed at her and jumped up to pull her down to their spots. Several others meandered over to their table, a couple boys included.

“Oh my gosh I can't believe it's almost over!” Kimiko Sakurazuka gushed. 

“I know what you mean.” Sighed Ruri.

Momoka giggled. “So what's the next move, I am dying to know.”

Haruhi shrugged and looked around the room. Hikaru and Kaoru were talking with their two usual guests. Honey was slicing a piece of cake for Reiko who caught her eye and nodded in her direction. Mori was listening to the conversation of the two other girls who join him and his cousin. Tamaki was preening for three of his own guests while Kyoya sat at a table with Yuriko and Azusa. 

There were other guests who were partaking in a buffet spread near the back of the room and sitting upon lavish sofas. A few male students had taken to flirting with a few of the girls beside them. However all their eyes were darting all over the room ready for action at the drop of a dime. The only unfortunate thing was that Haruhi herself was completely out of ideas.

Her sigh gave her away when she looked up at the girls before her. “I have no clue.”

Every face at the table fell from hopeful to disappointed. Haruhi felt bad but truthfully she was done. She had done all she could think of and was pretty much out of ideas. Hell she had been out of ideas pretty much the whole time. If it wasn't for the help of the other students, she would have blown her ploy ages ago.

As it were she was just plain tired of wearing the yellow dress and was ready more than anything to get this over with. Only without a climax to this thing, she wasn't sure how to end it. Should she just walk up to them and say she was kidding around? Should she just go home and come to school in her usual attire next Monday? Neither seemed like an appropriate end and based on the faces before her, she knew that she was right.

Shrugging she looked around to the room once again and said, “Will you ladies give me a moment?”

They nodded and followed her gaze to where Kyoya sat. Maybe she wasn't out of idea's after all? They hoped this was true, they hoped that there would be something one last thing to tip the scales and they were not disappointed.

On her way over to get this whole thing over with, she was intercepted. Haruhi had finally reached the lack of creativity for which she was never strong in the first place and was about to just go up to her Senpai and tell him the whole thing was nothing more than her attempt at a joke.

She didn't make it far as one of the boys who sat at the sidelines waltzed right up to her and grinned. His hands were in his pockets and his uniform had the top buttons loosened along with his tie. She regarded him with curiosity. Nope, she didn't know him. He might be class C or class D since she didn't meet many of them. Most of the students she familiarized herself with were those in her class, club or the girls that visited her. 

The boy leaned down to whisper to her. “The girls say you are out of ideas”

Haruhi blinked and looked back to the group of girls at her table then at the wall of potential clients. How the hell did news travel so fast?

“Yeah.” She said, shrugging. “I was just about to..”

“I have an idea but let me get this straight right now.” He glanced at the other hosts who seem to have noticed him talking to their Haruhi. “I'm not gay.”

“Um... alright.” She frowned in confusion as the boy stepped closer to her. “I don't see what being gay has to do with-”

For the second time that week she was kissed by a boy. This one however baffled her more than the first and lasted a shorter amount of time because in the brief second it took for his face to make contact with hers, the host left their guests and seats.

A round of female squeals drowned out the sound of screeching chairs as they slid from the floor and before Haruhi knew what was happening, Mori pulled her into the air. Honey reached the boy and held him by the neck pinning him to the floor. While Tamaki and the twins went straight to Mori and attempted to reclaim her to protect her. They would have taken care of the boy but with Honey in possession of him the only thing they wanted to do was get to Haruhi.

Silence filled the room. The girls stopped giggling, and no one could even utter a sound. Such displays of violence had never filled the Host Club room before and no one knew what to do at this point.

Honey turned his head back to his cousin to see that Haruhi was safe before his glare returned to the boy on the floor. He was about to say something but the silence was broken by the one he held captive.

He started laughing.

Startled Honey released him, Tamaki and the twins stared at him while Kyoya who was near by with his note book closed stepped closer to the scene. His eyes dark and fixated in it own angry glare.

Soon enough the remainder of the guests started laughing as well, which added to the confusion of the Host Club members. The boy was released and while laughing used his elbows to prop himself up.

Renge bounded up and helped him stand. “That was brilliant!” She squealed. “Absolutely wonderful. I can't believe how MOEEEE that was!” She did a little pirouette with her skirt twirling around her and placing a finger under her chin to add to her 'adorable' stance. 

Mori slowly lowered Haruhi when she cleared her throat to get his attention and nodding at him letting him know it was safe to put her down.

“What the hell just happened?” Hikaru demanded.

Haruhi brushed her dress back into place before walking past them and towards the girls who were no longer sitting at her table.

“Thanks for letting me borrow your uniform. I will get it back to you this weekend.” She smiled at them and they nearly fell into each other arms with their swoon.

“No problem, Haruhi” Momoka gushed before throwing her arms around Haruhi's shoulders. 

Haruhi blushed at the attention that everyone was giving her when they witnessed the hug. She especially blushed when the caught the eyes of Hosts. Their questioning looks were still unanswered. Carefully she patted the back of the girl hugging her and released her. 

“Care to explain.” Kyoya's cool voice approached her. His face was stern, hiding the fact that he was both confused and concerned. 

Haruhi shrugged, “Momoka lent me her uniform for the week.”

“So, this was a joke. This whole week?” Kaoru stepped up.

“You were playing a joke on us?” Hikaru followed.

“Why?” Tamaki asked calmly. He was looking at her with curiosity, and just a little bit of sadness but he held himself together rather well. Considering how easily he is prone to fits.

Haruhi shrugged, “My turn, I guess. After all, you boys are always playing pranks of me.”

“I have to say I'm impressed” Kyoya shook his head in disbelief. “You were not only able to keep this ploy going, but you were able to involve the entire school. The professors, the students and somehow you managed to considerably lower your debt.”

He smiled at her. Despite his annoyance at the fact she had him flustered, baffled and confounded beyond belief all week long, she was an impressive force to be reckoned with. 

Renge popped up beside Haruhi, “I have to say Haruhi. We were treated for some show. Here check this out.” She whipped out a stack of photographs from some random place. Each one featuring a Host with a full blown blush on their cheeks and Haruhi Fujioka dressed in the female attire. Each one of those shots captured the moment perfectly and Haruhi couldn't help but laugh.

“If you guys don't mind I'm going to change back into my other uniform.” She shook her head and picked up the bag next to her usual table. Inside of which she had her spare uniform. She was glad to be liberated of this yellow monstrosity. 

On her way over to the dressing room she was followed. One host just wasn't done with her. One host just could not hold back his peace. As she pulled back the curtain to the room his hand fell upon her shoulder causing her to pause.

Turning slightly her eyes locked with Hikaru. “Don't do that again.” He said to her. 

“Do what?” She asked unsure if he was referring to joking around, leaving them out of the joke or the fact that she flirted relentlessly over the week. 

“Just don't.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Next time you play a joke, tell us.”

“That would kind of defeat the purpose.” She rolled her eyes at him.  
His eyes narrowed, questioning her but she just picked his hand up off her shoulder and let it drop down. Before closing the curtain behind her she said. “Next time you boys get bored find another 'toy'?”

She smirked and began to undress, dropping the dress down stripping off the white stockings she was just grateful for this day to be over. Her pants went on first, and she pulled the shirt on. Slowly buttoning it up as she let out a sigh. It's good to be back to normal.

She finished up and headed out. Closing the curtain behind her, she realized she was still wearing makeup. She huffed and turned around heading to the closest restroom. Only she had to exit through the Club room.

The room thinned out a bit as the boys had left, only a few of the most frequent guests remained. Particularly those that were involved in the prank. Each one rehashing their role and stating which flirtation was of their own creation. 

Her hope of making it past the room without notice was dashed when Tamaki swooped in and held her close. Twirling her on the spot. “It was all a joke, you didn't leave us. Never never never ever do that again. I am so glad that you are going back to normal. I am so glad that - wait, are you wearing makeup still?”

“Yes Senpai. I need to go clean it off.” She pushed him away. “I won't be dressing like a girl for a long while after this, if that makes you feel any better.” 

“Haruhi,” He paused, “Are you still mad at us?”

Her hand was on the handle of the club room door when she paused and looked back at him. Not just at him but at the rest of the club. The club full of idiots who tease, torture, and toy with her on a daily basis. Those who mess not only with her studies, but her emotions and even hormones. She looked at each face, all worried that maybe they had crossed the line with her. Then she smiled.

No, she wasn't mad anymore. They were just being themselves and even if it drives her nuts. She wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

“I'm not mad. Just keep the cake stains and paint buckets to a minimum and we can call it even.” She giggled. “Besides, I'm done with pranks.”

Each host looked at each other then back at her. She grinned at them and left the room.

She considered for a moment how this whole week played out. Yes it started out as revenge for their mocking and teasing. In the end, it was really a testament to how strong her friendships were. The boys didn't really abandon her, in fact they defended her. Not only them, but the students in the school rallied around her more than she ever would have anticipated.

Perhaps this school wasn't so bad. These spoiled rich kids may not put much into their studies and they may have more free time than is humanly possible but they did were pretty great. The only question left is how would they feel when they find out that their favorite host really is a girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> This story was a rework of short version posted on FFnet. I highly doubt the original story was saved by anyone because it was a royal cluster fuck of an inexperienced me, but it was what spurred me into writing this version. I like the idea of the prank spanning a whole week as opposed to one afternoon, as was the original version. This gave me so much more to play with.
> 
> Thanks for reading and for any comments or Kudos. It's always appreciated.
> 
> Laters all,  
> BD-Z


End file.
